Responsibility and the Law of Attraction

August 14th, 2006 by Steve Pavlina

Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny.  As I’ve said many times before, you can give away control but never responsibility.  The ultimate responsibility for how your life turns out rests with you and you alone… not with your parents, your boss, your ex, your society, God, or anyone else.  You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results.

I sometimes receive feedback from people stuck in the pattern of thinking about what they don’t want.  They claim to be focusing on their desires religiously, and they ask me why their goals don’t seem to be manifesting.  Then they explain all the reasons they believe they’re having so much trouble.

If I were to write a template for such emails, it would look something like this:

I don’t understand…

I’m frustrated that…

I hate my…

I can’t figure out …

I’m stressed about…

I’m worried that…

I should be able to… but I can’t…

Why am I having so much trouble?

That’s quite a list of intentions, isn’t it?  And of course this is exactly what the person is manifesting.  What’s missing, however, is that s/he hasn’t accepted responsibility for these results.

The Law of Attraction brings you what you think about.  To think is to ask.  Every thought is an intention.  The Law of Attraction is totally neutral — it doesn’t filter what you ask for.  If you think about what you want, you get it.  If you think about what you don’t want, you get that too.

If you want to manifest your desires, then it makes no sense to write statements like the above.  Even when your desires haven’t yet manifested, remain hopeful and optimistic.  Pour on the positive intent, and allow the Law of Attraction to work with you.  Stay in the present moment.  Be on the lookout for synchronicities.  If you start getting frustrated, take a walk or do a meditation to nip it in the bud.  Otherwise you’ll negate your desires by intending their opposite.

The key to mastering the Law of Attraction is responsibility.  You must accept personal responsibility for everything in your life.  And I do mean everything.  If you perceive it, you’ve manifested it.  Whatever you give your attention to will expand.

How do you learn to stop thinking about what you don’t want?  Accept responsibility for attracting it.  This raises your consciousness and makes you more capable of successfully applying the Law of Attraction to get what you do want.

Suppose I go on an outing with my kids, and they misbehave like crazy.  They pick fights with each other, and I get frustrated with them.  Afterwards I have to admit that I attracted this situation by my thoughts.  I unconsciously intended it.  Perhaps I remembered a previous unpleasant outing as we were leaving.  Maybe I was noticing the first sign of conflict and worrying it might escalate.  If I gave it any thought, I activated the Law of Attraction.

By assuming responsibility for creating my reality, I also assume the power to change it.  I can consciously put more energy into thinking about what I do want.  Some of those negative thoughts will still pop into my mind, but I can drown them out with positive alternatives.  I can imagine a pleasant outing with the kids even when there’s no external evidence to support it.  I don’t need to see proof “out there” when I’m the one creating the proof in the first place.  As I keep my intentions positive, I notice almost magically that the kids’ behavior improves.  When I’m alone with them, they’re usually well behaved.  But their behavior changes to align with the expectations of whomever they’re with.

What if I deny responsibility for what I experience?  What if I say, “Something out there is causing these problems, and I’m only noticing what is happening”?  Then I’m powerless to change my reality.  If I focus my thoughts on what I’m already getting, I’ll unknowingly activate the Law of Attraction to continue bringing me more of the same.  My situation will never fundamentally change.  And how can it change?  If I’m thinking about what I’m already getting, then I’m manifesting a loop.  It’s stable.  If my life is filled with the manifestation of my desires, I’m in heaven.  If my life is filled with what I don’t want, I’m in hell.

If you’re determined to think about what you don’t want, I certainly can’t stop you.  The best I can do is to hold you accountable for your results, which can help you become more aware of what you’re doing to yourself.  But if you really want to beat yourself up, go for it.  Just note that I won’t be joining you for the subsequent pity parties down the road.  I’m not coming to save you, nor is anyone else.  Only you can save you.

Personal testing is the only reason I accept the Law of Attraction.  It’s proven itself to me beyond a reasonable doubt.  I’ve been working with it consciously for a few years now, and it still freaks me out sometimes.  Who’d have thought we could attract what we want just by thinking about it?  Does reality really work that way?  If it seems impossible, the thought of its impossibility will manifest like any other.  If you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, you’re actually using it to negate itself, which is a perfectly valid application, albeit one that will bring you lots of frustration.

One of the reasons I’m so happy and passionate about my life is that I’m getting better at aligning myself with the Law of Attraction.  I’m having a wonderful time experimenting with it.  As I think about what I want, I keep wondering when it’s going to show up.  When I try to control how it comes to me, I usually block it.  But when I relax and allow it to happen, that’s when it finally begins showing up.  The right people, resources, and opportunities somehow find me, usually through unexpected synchronicities.

The skeptical part of my brain has trouble believing reality could actually work like this.  It requires a new model of reality in which the Law of Attraction makes sense.  Consequently, I’ve had to make major adjustments to my beliefs to compensate for the Law of Attraction.  This led me towards a more subjective view of reality, which eventually became my default way of thinking.

After relaxing my preconceptions about what’s possible, I experienced many things I previously thought impossible.  For example, on Saturday I saw a fascinating experiment during a Reiki class (I may write about it later once I have a chance to duplicate it).  The skeptic in me is much less resistant because he has a new context for explaining how such things might be possible.  And each new validation makes it easier to open up to even more possibilities.

It all begins with accepting 100% responsibility for your reality.  You’re the one who’s creating it right now.  Are you creating what you want or what you don’t want?  Change your dominant thoughts, and you’ll see reality change as well.


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