Recovery Continued

July 27th, 2006 by Steve Pavlina

I received a response from Dave regarding the previous Recovery article.  I asked him if I could share it here, since I think you might find his outlook inspiring.  If you haven’t read the original post, Dave (not his real name) is a man who is mentally and emotionally recovering after accidentally killing a 72-year old man in an auto accident last week.  The accident wasn’t Dave’s fault.  The Recovery article was an attempt to help make sense of such life-altering situations.

Dave said OK, so here’s what he wrote:

I could have written that article.  I think I lived everything you stated.

I want to share with you what’s happening with me right now.  Perhaps you want to share some of this with your readers.

So far, I am feeling so much better.  I think my recovery started on Saturday, after another personal crisis.  You were right:  first step was acceptance.  But not only acceptance of what happened during the accident, but acceptance of everything that’s going on in my life.  Even when I would certainly prefer this had never happened, in a certain way I not only accepted it, but I am also feeling much more in peace now than I was before the accident.

I accepted it as something that was meant to happen, so, right now, what am I going to do with this?  After the wounds heal, if I continue being the same sucker I was before… then perhaps I deserve to be the dead guy.

So far the accident has been shocking enough to make me rethink my life.  Or perhaps my consciousness.  Perhaps this was my worst case scenario in my life.  Or was it?

I keep thinking I have to be grateful at some points.  I was not injured (this is a self-centered point of view but it does not matter).  But what if the man was young?  What if it was a kid?  What if my three year old daughter or my pregnant wife had been in the car?  I only imagine the little girl crying in the car and I realize how much worse it could have been.

So, this is a wake up call.  Everything can happen.  Anytime, anywhere.  So, am I going to lower my consciousness getting mad when some comparatively ridiculous stuff comes around?  When some of my clients call with some complaint?  (I am a software developer).  Shall I let my daughter annoy me when she is behaving badly?  Shall I continue being so attached to money?  NO
 
I have been a long intender of 1M$.  But I think my intention was based in fear.  I don’t feel this fear anymore.  Perhaps because I now have a sense of how ephemeral everything can be?  How your life can change in some seconds?

It has been so much easier to live the present moment since my wound started to heal.  Not only to live it, but to be grateful.  Nothing really serious happened to me today.  Thank God, I did not kill someone today…  I do not feel my life is a hell as I felt last week…  and a lot of people showed me their caring and love…

I know little time has passed.  Perhaps I am taking the wrong way to overcome this.  But so far, acceptance, detachment of what’s coming now (a trial) and the idea of “I have to become a better person after this” has been so much better than just letting the time pass and trying to resist/deny what happened.

Steve Pavlina was of great help too, not just because of “Dealing with…” but with everything I have learned from him since 2005.

Despite the tragic event, Dave is choosing to see it as a wake up call.  Instead of becoming more fearful, he’s becoming more grateful.  That is the awesome power of conscious choice.



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