Ask Steve – Helping Stubborn People
July 9th, 2006 by Steve Pavlina
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How you do deal with a situation where you do your very best to help someone, but they refuse to apply your solution even when it’s virtually guaranteed to work? What do you do when you lead the horse to water, but it stubbornly refuses to drink, even to its own detriment?
When you lead a horse to water and it refuses to drink, pet the thirsty horse compassionately while you enjoy the water yourself.
At the same time, notice that you too are standing beside a water source that you refuse to drink from, even as those around you cannot understand why you hesitate.
You’ll often find that once you begin to drink from your own neglected source, the horse you’ve been trying so desperately to help begins to drink as well.
This entry is part of the “Ask Steve” series. See the original Ask Steve post for details, or view the Archives (July 2006) to peruse the entire series.
July 10th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
“Pet the Thirsty Horse Compassionately”
"Compassion makes one see the picture clearly; when emotions overtake us, the lack of seeing clearly clouds our perception of reality and hence the cause of many misunderstandings leading to quarrels (even wars)." – Dalai Lama I often read St…
June 26th, 2007 at 10:58 am
[...] It’s annoying if you’re the kind of person who likes to lie to themselves about stuff. But it’s really the only thing that consistently works, that I have found. Pavlina has some excellent simple guidelines for helping you tune into this source, and discerning true guardianangelic™ assistance versus the obsessive noise issuing from the egodemonic™ center. This is also tangentially related and is about helping stubborn people: When you lead a horse to water and it refuses to drink, pet the thirsty horse compassionately while you enjoy the water yourself. [...]