Self Magazine Sex Article

April 23rd, 2006 by Steve Pavlina

Self Magazine (May 2006 issue) has a little interview with me as part of an article titled, “Say Yes! to Sex.”  The teaser line for the article is:  “Remember that can’t-wait-to-do-it feeling?  Here’s how to recapture it, even after a stressful day.”

[ Insert voice of Scott Bakula saying, “Oh, boy…” ]

I did this interview almost a year ago when the writer called to ask if I could offer advice on how women can turn sex into a more frequent habit.  At first I did a double-take, wondering if it was a serious request.  However, the writer explained that the article was intended to gather sex advice from unusual sources.  I’d never given much thought to applying habit formation techniques to sex before, but I thought… why not?  Habits play a significant role in physical intimacy.

In the article I suggest turning physical intimacy into a habit by using the 30-day trial approach.  Every day for the next 30 days, devote 30-60 minutes to talking, snuggling, cuddling, massage, and of course, sex with your partner.  As the article accurately quotes me, “That time becomes sacred couple-intimacy time with no interruptions.  The commitment to spend time alone together every day for 30 days will create the space for your sex life to blossom.”

If the trial doesn’t produce the results you want, you can begin a new 30-day trial of something different or return to the old habit.  But by then the new habit will already be established, so if you wish to continue, it won’t be so difficult because momentum will be on your side.

I hadn’t envisioned this particular application when I first wrote about the 30-day trial method, but it’s nice to see that personal development techniques can even enhance our sex lives.

Five million women have just been told that I’m a sex expert.  :)

There’s no way I can top that one.  My life is all downhill from here.  :(

But maybe this will be just enough to counter-balance my wife’s opinion.  :)

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