Professional Speaking
September 26th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina
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As you may already know, over the past year and a half, I’ve been working hard to build my speaking skills to a professional level. I’ve also been creating a mountainous volume of original content on personal development, much of which you can access for free via this web site. Based on the feedback I’ve been getting (both online and offline) as well as my own self-assessment, I feel I’ve finally reached the point where I’m ready to go pro. By this I mean that I’m finally ready to start booking professional speaking engagements.
Soon I’ll be adding some pages to this web site that will provide details on how to book me as a speaker. Although the scope of this site is very broad in terms of its content (i.e. all things related to personal development), I’ll provide a more focused list of speaking topics where I believe I can offer the greatest value.
Due to the popularity of this web site (which will reach about 400,000 visitors this month), I’ve already been receiving booking inquiries. Up to this point, however, I’ve held back on accepting any paid speaking engagements because it was important to me to first build my presentation skills to a high enough level. I also wanted to develop an abundance of original content. I wasn’t willing to accept paid engagements until I was convinced I could exceed the expectations of those who would choose to hire me.
I want to say a special thanks to all of you who’ve given me so much helpful feedback. Over 3300 comments have been posted to this blog over the past year, along with an abundance of email feedback, and I’ve personally read it all (and responded to as much as I could). I really love the synergistic nature of this blog, where we’ve been working together to help each other grow. I know I’ve experienced more personal growth over the past year than in any previous year I can recall.
I’m especially grateful to those people who’ve been generously mentoring me along the way to this goal, some of whom have been giving me ideas, advice, and coaching for more than a year. I’m in a fortunate position because the traffic to this web site is such that there’s a good chance it will provide all the bookings I can handle. According to Alexa’s site rankings (which isn’t perfectly accurate but serves as a reasonable guide), StevePavlina.com already gets more traffic than the web sites of some of the top speakers in the world, including Zig Ziglar, Barbara De Angelis, and Dr. Wayne Dyer. Right now this site is roughly on par with Dr. Deepak Chopra’s site in terms of overall traffic.
One of my biggest challenges in making the decision to go pro was to reconcile the fact that this web site has developed a sizable online following, while in the offline world, I’m still just a relative spec of dust compared to top professional speakers. I don’t have a Ph.D in psychology or a best-selling book or a long list of Fortune 500 clients. However, I do have a significant amount of experience in the field of personal development as well as enough original content to fill a weeklong seminar.
Recently I had lunch with a talented speaker who was able to help me understand that this web site’s content and traffic is in fact my #1 credential… and a powerful one at that, but only to the right type of client. To those potential clients who don’t understand the online world, I may not be able to get a foot in the door, but given my unique situation, those aren’t the types of clients I should pursue anyway. However, to the right type of client (one who understands the Internet well), this site provides more than enough credibility. Through this web site, I’m already communicating with a large audience, larger than what most full-time professional speakers are able to reach. If I wrote a best-selling book, I’d probably impact fewer people through that book than I’m already reaching now. To the potential client who’s familiar with this web site and its content, it wouldn’t matter much whether or not I have a Ph.D or how many times I’ve been on Oprah. The existing breadth and depth of content on this site provides a lot more information than the typical speaker’s marketing brochure.
Another perspective that helped me was when a speaker posed the question, “Why are you being so selfish with your content?” My brain did a double-take as it digested that perspective. I have an abundance of impactful content that I’ve never shared online but which I have put into speeches — some ideas adapt better to speeches than they do to articles or podcasts. This speaker helped me see that by holding myself back from accepting ALL available communication outlets, I was actually hoarding content instead of sharing it.
Some of you may disagree with this perspective, and that’s fine, but to me this was the realization I needed to begin speaking professionally now instead of waiting until next year. I know that many people who book speakers won’t regard this web site as anything significant or meaningful, so for now, I’ll simply let those people go and won’t try to convince them otherwise. However, for the right type of client, such as the person who’s been quietly reading this web site for months and has already derived significant personal benefits from the application of some of these ideas, that person already has more than enough information to decide whether or not it would be worthwhile to invite me to speak to their company or organization.
While I know that many people are deathly afraid of public speaking and could never fathom doing such a thing as a profession, to me it is the most natural thing in the world. I love communicating high-level ideas like finding purpose in life, building self-discipline, and optimizing personal productivity. I think it’s wonderful that I have the opportunity to permanently change someone’s thinking and behavior in a way that gives them access to greater success, happiness, and fulfillment.
I expect to have the booking info online next month (I still have to finalize a number of documents like my contract, pre-event questionnaire, and fee schedule), but in the meantime if you already have a speaking engagement in mind and would like more information, feel free to contact me now with the details and requirements of your event.
Once again, a big thank you to all the readers of this site who’ve helped me take this step. I could not have done it without your support, encouragement, and feedback.
September 26th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
glad to see you opening other doors — but hope you stay true to your roots — your ideas on spirituality, diet etc. — and not afraid about stating your opinion, no matter how hard they seem. it might be easier to not say those thing as you “move up”.
September 26th, 2005 at 10:30 pm
What terrific stats! I, for one, am very pleased and wish you the best with this next step in your career development. I feel incredibly lucky (and proud of myself!) for having found this site while you are still “developing”, too. I believe that you are going to be a successful speaker and personal development coach and I feel good in knowing and having witnessed this stage in your career–for I will feel confident in recommending your techniques and philosophy to those around me as well! Bravo!
September 26th, 2005 at 11:53 pm
I think you have a lot of room to grow in your comments department. From an entry I just posted in my Livejournal discussing your numbers:
“i don’t know how many visitors i get each month, but i’m *pretty sure* it’s nowhere near 400,000. 1000, maybe. and how many comments do i get each year? about 5000. this indicates the two numbers are not strongly correlated.”
September 27th, 2005 at 12:23 am
Hi Steve - congrats with your new career. I think you have a potential to become a good public speaker, but being a seminar junkie myself and having seen/heard a lot of speakers I can tell you (for what it’s worth), that you aren’t one yet. The reason - inconsistency. You have some excellent posts, some good one and a lot of crappy ones (not to mention your vegi-nazi propaganda). This is not to discourage you, you are on the right track and should go on despite what party-poopers like myself tell ya, but I doubt that you can make any meaningful contribution, other than for folks who are complete neophites and get excited about pop-phych crap like “time management” or “give up your coffee”, “create plans”, bla-bla-bla.
I think you are kidding yourself when you say you nave a lot of experience and knowledge with personal growth. Definately you’ve grown a lot compared to what you were at 19 years old, but come on who has not? What are your accomplishments? Games? None of them are really popular. Game publishing? What’s Dexterity compared to other companies like Big Fish or Pop Cap? I just don’t see any concrete proof that you in fact have something to show as the results of your so-called personal growth, except for things like writing talent. I am sorry that is comment looks very nasty, but I doubt you can really become a professional without actually accompishing things first. You are basically repeating “how to get rich on the Internet” path, except for the “personal development and growth” replacement. If a complete stranger would meet you, who never heard of Steve Pavlina nor read anything by you, and he or she would spend a day or a week with you, do you think that person would think of you as somebody who has grown personally a lot?
September 27th, 2005 at 1:07 am
Steve, there is no doubt that you are ready to take on paid assignments. I wish you every success, but I hope that you don’t become so successful that you neglect those of us that can only read your blog. And don’t forget, you still owe us a book.
September 27th, 2005 at 4:39 am
Good luck! I’ve enjoyed reading your website via RSS feed.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:02 am
@Rinku: There are many factors which would influence the volume of comments other than site traffic. I think the number of posts and the type of content would be more significant factors than total traffic. For example, I’d expect that a blog like Problogger.net which has 50x as many posts as this one and which attracts an audience of bloggers (an audience that would be more likely to post comments) would see a high rate of comments. Many people also send me personal stories and feedback via email, often because they don’t want to share personal information publicly.
@Wonga:
Thanks for the feedback.
If a complete stranger would meet you, who never heard of Steve Pavlina nor read anything by you, and he or she would spend a day or a week with you, do you think that person would think of you as somebody who has grown personally a lot?
Yes, I’d say that’s likely. But the more important question would be whether or not that person would grow him/herself by spending time with me, in a manner which was important to that person. And to that question I would also answer yes — that is usually what happens when people spend a lot of time with me one on one.
It sounds like you’re looking for a different level of result than the one I aim to help people with. If your primary aim is to learn how to make lots of money selling entertainment software or something along those lines, there are other people who can help you down that path. I’m not one of those people though. My primary communication goal is to help people live more consciously, to help them consider and create the type of life they would choose for themselves, not the one which social conditioning would choose for them.
My most valuable accomplishment (to me personally) is that I’ve reached a point of living very, very consciously. Each day of my life is filled with meaning and purpose and gratitude. I enjoy a deep sense of inner peace and joy. I am unfraid to take action and to fail. I have a deeply loving relationship with a woman I perceive to be my soulmate, and she perceives me as hers. I bounded out of bed at 5am this morning, eager to start the coming day. To some people these results are perceived as being of little value, or they are seen only as means to an end. To others they are extremely valuable as ends in themselves.
Your comment does not bother me at all. It isn’t really about me anyway. You are commenting on your own goals and aspirations, and you’ve noted that what you’ve read in this blog thus far doesn’t resonate with you. And you are absolutely right about that. The type of success you implied was important to you is not the type of success I strived for in my life, nor is it the type of success I wish to help others achieve. You mentioned that you’ve been a seminar junkie, so I can imagine the types of messages you’ve been exposed to and how those experiences have probably colored what you’d expect from me. That would not be an accurate brush with which to paint the real me, however.
If you wish to find “concrete proof” of success, then you should look to someone in the concrete business.
On the other hand, if you wish to live a consciously chosen life that is deeply fulfilling to you, now that is something I believe I can help you (and others) achieve. But if that isn’t important to you, then this isn’t the site for you. It is up to you to get what you need most. I know that as a speaker, I can’t be all things to all people, nor would I ever try.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:45 am
Hi Steve,
Greetings from Indonesia (and pardon my English).
I’ve been enjoying your posts for about three months and I am really grateful for it. Without hesitation, I will say that your work is the most articulative, original, honest, thoughtful, and intentionally “purest” compared to other - so called - gurus in personal development that I’ve seen to be “too commercially motivated”. Hopefully your new career in professional speaking will still retain much of those qualities that I admire most from you.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:48 am
Congratulations on moving into another stage of your new career, and thanks again for all the help and advice I’ve received via your blog.
It sounds selfish I know, but I’d be quite sad if your professional work led to a decrease in your blogging content… I hope your schedule allows you to keep doing so
I’m getting quite addicted to the regular consciousness boosts that come with each article!
September 27th, 2005 at 7:25 am
I guess commenting to a comment is poor taste, but I don’t think you quite understand me. My question was not about types of success but rather the question of results. You say you’ve had 400000 visitors this past month, which means you are qualified to teach others how to write a blog that would get that much of an audience, right? But not 4 million visitors until you’ve been able to accomplish that. Right? I mean look at it this way - what are most questionable posts - the ones about diet and food, that because you don’t really know much about diet and nutrition, instead you substitute that knowledge with vegeterianism. Do you see the difference? What I am trying to say is that you are unable to give good quality advice about nutrition but you are qualified to give advice about vegeterianism. And I believe that it’s pretty obvious to all non-vegans who read your post that you are stretching things and making them up - especially trying to prove that a human is an herbivour “by design”, which is nonsense. But let’s forget the diet preferences altogether, it’s not important.
There are two sides to a professional speaker - substance and techniques. It’s obvious to me that you are a talented writer - it’s clear that you put a lot of time into crafting words and you don’t just write something with no reason. You do have style. But I don’t seem to be able to find a lot fo substance in what you call “original content”. From what I can tell, the result of your personal growth is that you “live very consciously”. I am not sure I understand what it means. It’s like saying “I am a contractor and I build beautiful buildings”. Well, what exactly do you do good - senior homes, hotels, malls, single home residenses, restaurants?
When I read your posts on marketing or running a small business - it makes sense to me, because, after all, you did have a small business and I can feel it from your posts. But as far as “living consciously” or personal growth part - that’s all bla-bla-bla to me. I mean, do you seriously consider that writing a post about “write your goals and check ‘em every four months” is a good “unique content”? Or visualization. I don’t think you can buy a single self-help book that would not have planning or visualization.
While you seem to have all the skills you need, I think you are real shallow on substance. And the reason for that is because substance comes with results and you just did not accomplish much yet. To me, just the way you confuse proper nutrition with vegi-propaganda, you confuse “living consciously” with results. Personal growth should have noticable results, shouln’t it? Or am I too blind to see it in your posts?
September 27th, 2005 at 7:26 am
Congratulations on the momentous decision! It sounds like an exciting time in your life.
You mentioned how much some speakers charge, and I was wondering how you would go about deciding how much your services are worth. Personally I’m struggling with the question for myself when it comes to a development contract I am negotiating.
Also, how will this decision affect your podcast frequency? Or blog post frequency, for that matter?
I might have mentioned it before, but I want to sincerely thank you for giving me so much to think about. Even before you started stevepavlina.com, your posts and articles inspired me to stop drifting through life and to take control. Living consciously. My journey to personal development started when I first realized that I could start my own game company rather than work for someone else. Thank you.
September 27th, 2005 at 8:21 am
How cool, Steve. Best of luck to you, man.
Though, if the history you’ve shared here is any guide, you seem to create much of that luck yourself.
September 27th, 2005 at 9:28 am
Congratulations!
But please don’t hold back on creating packaged audio content, as a program focused on getting results in a specific topic.
September 27th, 2005 at 10:43 am
Good luck with this. I am sure that you will succeed.
Please keep providing podcasts - they are an excellent way for the potential clients to hear you speak, and to judge the quality of your speaches. Your podcasts so far have been excellent, I especially loved the third one.
September 27th, 2005 at 11:24 am
Hey Steve,
Congrats on taking the first step to a professional speaking career. I work very closely with the leadership of District 12 Toastmasters and they are always looking for exciting speakers for their conferences. When you get your materials together let me know and I’ll pass them along.
I would suggest a few things that might help you get started.
1. If you are not currently a TM district officer you should volunteer for an open position. This will give you leadership experience and is a great networking tool.
2. Volunteer to be one of the Toastmasters in your upcoming Toastmasters Division or District conference. The organizational experience will be invaluable.
3. I would contact the members of the Sandpiper TM club in Ventura which is in your district. Two of the members are accredited speakers and the entire membership is very professional. They have some great speaking resources to help get you started.
4. If you have a Speakers Bureau in Las Vegas, find out what the requirements are and get on board.
You have great material and I agree with your post that you should share it openly. You have been a real inspiration to me and it is great to see you taking that first step. I am looking at a similar path and I am currently working on acceptance into our local speakers bureau. You may have to speak for free for a while, but the paying jobs will come.
Good Luck!
John
P.S. My goal for Success Begins Today is 100,000 hits/month. With your blog at 400,000 visits/month… all I can say is WOW!
September 27th, 2005 at 2:26 pm
Wonga Tonga, Amen!
September 27th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
Hi, Steve. Congratulations on the new career move. I think it’s fantastic. Pay no attention to opinions on what you don’t have. Do you think Wayne Dyer worries about not having a degree in neuroscience, or physics, or metaphysics? He doesn’t exactly stick to psychology, and it doesn’t hinder him a bit. You don’t need a certificate in conscious living to be qualified to live that way - or to spread that message!
And remember, Wayne Dyer wasn’t always the phenomenon he is today. Very, very few people are born famous. And a lot of famous people don’t have PhD’s. Whether or not you ever reach that level of fame - and you very well might - you have a lot of insight to offer. Keep putting it out there. The rest will take care of itself.
All the best,
EM
September 27th, 2005 at 7:15 pm
@Wonga Tonga - I think you may be in the wrong place. Seeing as the sites front page article is titled “The Courage to Live Conciously” if that all seems like nonsense to you then perhaps you should look for a more business oriented blog?
If you look at people who may be very financially successful but they do so at the cost of other areas of their lives. Sure we can take business advice from them but why should we listen to their advice on relationships or health when they can’t seem to keep their marriages together or stay healthy? Frankly I think this makes Steve especially qualified to talk about this stuff.
The best of luck to you Steve. I can honestly say that your writings have had a huge impact on how I view my life and how I intend to live it. I’m sure by doing more public speaking you can spread your message and help others. Can’t wait for the book!
September 27th, 2005 at 7:44 pm
@Wonga - “But as far as “living consciously” or personal growth part - that’s all bla-bla-bla to me. ”
Wow …. I wonder why you’re here then. “living consciously” and personal growth is the ENTIRE reason this is my favourite blog.
Living consciously has made me a more disciplined, motivated, energetic person. I value Steve’s advice here, but at the same time I do take it with a grain of salt (in other words, I evaluate it consciously). That’s why I still drink coffee, and I still eat meat, and I still drink fluoridated water. I don’t take every article of Steve’s unconditionally.
But a lot of the articles ARE worthy of being part of my life. The majority of them are, in fact. And that’s why I read here. Steve often packs more substance in a single blog post than can be found in entire self-help books.
September 27th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Congrats! I look forward to reading about your experiences! You’re definitely one of my role models. =)
September 27th, 2005 at 10:46 pm
@Steve and Paul
I am not trying to bash Steve, I am asking him to show me what results of personal growth. Here is why it’s important. If you are to ask a person who knows a bit about gaming industry “who write best articles on indie games” the answer would be “Steve Pavlina”. But if you were to ask - if you want to get most sales, who would you give your games to, not one person would say “Steve Pavlina” (I am talking about times when Steve was involved in the biz). Instead, people would name Reflexive or Big Fish or whatever. And Steve is honest - he says that while he wrote good articles on game marketing, people who actually want to see game marketing results (sales), should look elsewhere (”If your primary aim is to learn how to make lots of money selling entertainment software or something along those lines, there are other people who can help you down that path. I’m not one of those people though.”) But games and professional speaking are very different, yet the question about results and substance (vs. fluff and shallow talk) are of extreme importance. here is why:
Let’s take any cult - like Heaven’s Gate or Children of God. A cult is a good choice because they are lead by professional speakers in a sense (or call them “spititual growth leaders”). These people (cult leaders) are very passionate and pursuasive - after all they can make people belive in nonsense like that you should not receive blood transfusion or that UFO will take you to some planet or that Jesus talks to me.
Cult leaders are also able to produce “peak experiences” (feeling of exhaltation) and this is very important (any professional speaker or performer will tell you that).
Generally speaking cult followers will not only say that their cult leader is a great person, but will actually believe that their leader is great and provides very valuable service (”personal salvation” or “living conciously”). This has nothing to do with the intelligence of the believer - there are hundreds of thousands and perhaps millions of VERY SMART peole who join cults, especially if you count in JWs and Mormons (sorry to offend any one). Yet most people eventually leave cults and the reason is clear - cults have no substance, it’s all a form of manipulaton. More importantly, cults are unable to deliver results.
Clearly, Steve is a good guy and in no way cult leader. He is not trying to take advantage of people. But he falls short on substance. I mean, it’s great that you have kids and good marriage, but I’ve got tons of friends who’ve found their soul mates and it would be far fetched to say that it’s a result of great personal growth achievement. I don’t get up at 5, I get up at 6, but it’s hard to believe that getting up early in good mood is that great of an accomplishment. That’s my point. While Steve has all necessary professional speaker skills, he lacks the results. And I am not trying to force him to produce the kind of results I pick - any feasible results shall do.
For example - Steve had a small business. As far as I understand he is no longer actively managing it. If he is still able to produce enough money to feed himself and his family, he is able teach folks about that. But if that business makes no money and Steve’s family is being supported largely by his wife, that would be a tricky question. Can a person who lives off his wife be able to give qualified advice? (I am not trying to imply that Steve is, I am just trying to show that “results” are exteremely important when it comes to separating fluff from substance).
September 28th, 2005 at 1:58 am
@Wonga Tonga: “… I think you are real shallow on substance. And the reason for that is because substance comes with results and you just did not accomplish much yet …”
I disagree on three things:
1. That Steve’s work is shallow on substance
2. That Steve did not accomplish much yet
Simply because of these:
1. Steve’s work has profound impact on several, if not many, people who have read his blog, including myself. I believe shallow substance will not make such an impact.
2. Steve’s great accomplishment is his blog and its enthusiastic readers. If you can’t see this, see how many people disagree with you.
September 28th, 2005 at 2:00 am
I mean, “two things” … forgot to change it when I removed the third ;-).
September 28th, 2005 at 2:01 am
Way to go dude. You’re the man ! Wish you all the best.
By the way, will you still write this blog??
September 28th, 2005 at 4:55 am
@Wonga: From your perspective you are correct in my opinion. The results you are looking to find in me, you will not find. You seem to be looking for a man who achieves great external personal success first (external because you ask to see it manifest through measurable material accomplishments) and then goes off and teaches that form of success to others. So if I wrote a book called, “How to be a billionaire,” it should first be required than I’m a billionaire, right? I’d agree with that.
I’d also agree that there are many disingenuine people in this field trying to teach results they haven’t first achieved. But I think a bigger problem is those people who are teaching those results they have achieved (results which seem substantial), but they still are not at peace within themselves. I saw a few such speakers at the seminar yesterday.
External success is not why I’m living life as a human being, nor is it what I’m trying to help people with. I don’t see it as an important enough pursuit to devote my life to — any external accomplishments I manifest here will only turn to dust in the long run, given enough time. If I focus on the physical, I’m ultimately only working with dust.
While I do post articles on a wide variety of topics, written at different levels of awareness, my primary focus for this site has always been about helping people live more consciously and to make those big decisions about how to live with greater intelligence and clarity. The first article I posted to this site focused on that theme. I am not here to make those big decisions for anyone. I see my role more as one of helping to show people what they already sense is true and to face those things in themselves that they fear but really don’t have to fear. I see a lot of people who feel empty at the end of the day because they are living lives they aren’t passionate about. They’ve become too disconnected and incongruent with the great spirit inside them.
When I think about goals like making hit products, building a huge business empire, or achieving fame and fortune, I am filled with emptiness. Those goals hold no inspiration for me, no matter how I try to sell myself on them. For years I tried to get inspired by such goals, but they are not the goals that lead me to awaken full of joy and to hold that joy throughout the entire day.
I’m not like the speaker who earns a million dollars and then teaches other people how to do the same thing. I see myself more like a scout, exploring the possibilities of how we might grow in human consciousness. This is a far messier task, full of dead ends and restarts.
One problem with this blog is that it doesn’t reveal where I am. It only shows where I’ve been.
I am genuinely grateful for your feedback. It has helped me understand my focus even better. So you’ve been very helpful to me, probably more than you realize. And I thank you for that.
September 28th, 2005 at 5:01 am
@Ali: Yes, I will still write this blog and keep doing podcasts. And they will still be free.
@John: Thanks for the feedback and advice. Two members of one of my TM clubs are accredited speakers (the only two in Las Vegas), and we’re just about to get a third one in that same club. Several are professional speakers or entertainers as well. So I’ve been getting all the mentoring I can handle. The main thing is for me to just do it.
September 28th, 2005 at 6:52 am
Thanks for clarifying some things, but I am still confused. From what I can see, you write on a variety of topics. Unless I misunderstand, the number one section by number of posts is called “Success” (44 posts). That to me says that you feel that you are a successful person and want to share the knowledge with others. It would be unfair for me to tell you - you are successful if you’ve made that much money or have this big of a house. Nor would it be fair to ask “What gives you the right to …” Instead, I ask you - “What you, Steve Pavlina, have DONE to achieve success”. I am perfectly fine with whatever definition of success you chose. I just want you to share with us about deeds and actions. If you talk the talk, walk the walk, kind of thing.
Congrats on great family and high energy - but these are your feelings, not deeds.
So far I see this - I’ve become interested in personal growth, I’ve grown personaly a lot and now the result of my personal growth is the blog on personal growth and podcasts on personal growth and I am writing a book on personal growth.
Let’s put aside your family, your blog and your writing (although these are important to you). What would you answer me if I asked you to show the results of your personal grown in “real world” so to speak - outside the blog on personal growth. I mean you have a life, don’t you, it’s highly unlikely that all you do is write this blog, so what results in real life (family excluded) have you noticed as the result of your tremendous personal growth.
September 28th, 2005 at 10:57 am
@Wonga: I used to define success in terms of actions and deeds. At that time I would measure my success in the manner you suggest… based on accomplishments like running a marathon, starting a business, publishing games, going vegan, earning a six figure income, having a family, buying a house, etc.
But sometime during the past year, I gradually let go of that defintion. Today I define success more in terms of being and becoming.
Someday my human life is going to end. No matter what I accomplish here in terms of measurable actions and deeds, both for myself and others, those results will ultimately turn to dust, given enough time. As I see it, the only part of me that has the potential to endure is my consciousness. My physical body and all my stuff will have to stay behind. And that holds true for everyone else here too. I don’t have total certainty as to whether or not our consciousness can/will endure after death, but I do have certainty that nothing else will.
So I choose to spend my time working on my consciousness and the consciousness of other people. Then when I die, I’ll just keep doing the same thing I’m doing now, assuming I’m still conscious and aware on some level (if I’m wrong, it won’t matter anyway). I’ll find other conscious beings who resonate with this purpose, and we’ll continue to explore and develop our consciousness together.
So the greatest success I seek is the process of exploring and understanding consciousness itself. This is a journey, not a destination, and while it can produce some manifestations in the physical world that can be measured and observed with eyes and ears, it goes much deeper than that.
For example, a huge success to me was identifying and consciously choosing a purpose for my life, a purpose that would be flexible enough to withstand my own exploration of consciousness while still providing enough direction to be meaningful. From a material world perspective, it is nothing but a few words. But from my own exploration of consciousness and the effort I put into this goal, it is one of my all-time greatest personal accomplishments. I would not trade it for a billion dollars — seriously. It is certain that I can’t keep a billion dollars when I die, but there is a chance that I can retain my sense of purpose even after death.
Some of my other personal successes include:
- a feeling of pervasive joy and happiness
- motivation and passion for living
- a daily sense of gratitude
- courage
- no fear of death
- no fear of failure
- unconditional love
- forgiveness (mainly of myself)
- no anger or resentment towards anyone
- compassion for all living things
- inner peace
Material world success is guaranteed to be temporary. But successes in the exploration and development of one’s consciousness — those may have the power to endure. To me, that is real success — the chance to build something that may last forever.
I understand that to many people, these do not represent worthy achievements. I also note that there are problems with maintaining a blog that serves as a history of who I was in the past rather than who I am today. I knew this would be a challenge when I started this blog, but I decided to keep the old material online even when it doesn’t represent my current thinking. I don’t agree with much of the stuff I wrote last year, but I see that as a good thing — it means I’m growing. Rather than delete every day’s entry after a month or two, I figured it’s best to keep it online. I still get positive feedback on articles I wrote six years ago, so apparently people still find it beneficial.
Another issue is that I often write blog posts from a perspective that doesn’t represent my current level of consciousness. This is why some articles seem more conceptual and high-level like how to discover your life purpose, while others are more about third-dimensional success like what foods to eat. I opted to do this because I thought it was important for helping people who are at different levels in their own personal growth. To some people, the idea of getting out of bed before sunrise is a challenging and difficult one.
But perhaps this was a mistake on my part. Maybe when I do this, I am not being true to myself. For example, if I were to write an article called “How to Organize Your Home Office,” it would likely become very popular. I could share a lot of tips that would be useful to people who are currently struggling with that type of thing. I’ve certainly written articles like this in the past. But it would not be a good representation of my current level of thinking. It is certainly nowhere near the edge of what I’m personally working on right now.
You’ve (perhaps indirectly) given me something important to think about here. Perhaps I should spend more time writing about the front edge of what I’m working on instead of the trailing edge of things I figured out 5-10 years ago. That might result in a greater congruency between who I am right now, what I write, and helping others to grow as well. I’m going to take some time to let this sink in.
September 28th, 2005 at 11:35 am
I think we are speaking different languages here. It’s perfectly fine you define success the way you do - I am not trying to force my definitions onto you. I personally find a lot of your posts shallow, while some are amusing. And I know the difference between the two. Let me explain what I mean by substance. Basically you’ve got two sources for your articles. One is other people - books you’ve read, speeches you heard, etc.
It’s not really interesting when one person tells what other person says, at least most of the times. The second source is you. The “YOU” content is result of what you’ve done before and when you write articles about something you know about, like the articles on blog promotion or “80% of all employees fail”, they do have substance. The “new age” style stuff, like your previous comment comes off fake (to me). I am sure you are not lying to me, but I have a sense you are lying to yourself, or, to put it more mildly, trying to talk yourself into believing that.
Substance comes from results (however you may define them) and while you are technically prepared for your new carreer (and should follow that path), you will constantly be haunted by that lack of substance, which will result in the following - you are likely to be able to inspire people and motivate them but they won’t change or grow personally in any meaningful sense, because you have not. Does it make sense? Think of people who you believe have grown personally a lot. I am sure most of them would agree with you on the “money is not important” and “universal love” parts. But, inevitably, once you’ll look at the people who you think have grown personally, you won’t find a single person who has done nothing meaningfull or has no impressive achievements (they just may be in very different fields, not money, but, say, sport). I don’t know if deeds are a result of personal growth or personal growth results in spectacular achievements, but these two do come together. Otherwise, it’s not growth but self-illusion game.
September 28th, 2005 at 11:42 am
Writing about the front edge will surely help you grow, but please don’t give up on the trailing edge completely - some of us are struggling to catch up!
September 28th, 2005 at 11:57 am
@Wonga: Can you give me some examples of what you mean by “spectacular achievements?”
September 28th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
Hey, Steve, I’ve just got it. It came through. You are confusing GROWTH and CHANGE. You’ve done martial arts, right? So growth is when you start with green belt, then orange, then black - whatever (not good at belt stuff, but you get the idea). Change is when you stopped karate and bought yourself a mountain bike. Or started bowling. You’ve been eating meat, then you became a vegetarian. Clearly it’s not “diet growth”, it’s “diet change”. If you start eating meat, you won’t regress, you’ll just change the diet again.
I think that you’ve changed you personal believe system and there are some conflicts, apparent (and reason why you are not completely honest with yourself).
This is from “About Steve Pavlina” - “From age 21 on, I became very focused and goal-oriented”, so cleary goal setting are (were) VERY important to you. What you wrote in your comments a few hours ago, came off as though if you were an author of “Goal-Free Living”.
Now it makes sense to me, your growth have stalled (probably because you disliked some aspects of old Steve). You’ve decided to become a different person and adopted new beliefs. But you did not GROW, you CHANGED (neither did you regress in any way). Just liked painting a house a differnt color (vs doing upgrades or moving into a different residence). Once you start growing in your new identity, you’ll gain substance with new experiences and it will come through your posts. But my friend, you’ll still have to DO stuff in order to grow, not WRITE about it.
September 28th, 2005 at 12:51 pm
@Wonga: Growth in consciousness is closely connected to change. Growing more conscious involves exploring different perspectives, and to do that in a linear way requires change. For example, as you mentioned, I’ve been a meat eater, a vegetarian, and a vegan. I’m able to recall and understand all three perspectives. To me a big part of growth in consciousness is the expansion of perspective, the ability to see reality from different angles simultaneously.
So yes, whether you call this growth or change, this is what I’ve been working on. This is a fairly recent perspective for me though (perhaps last few months), so I’m sure it will continue to evolve.
See… on one level of awareness, you might say that some perspectives are better or worse than others. For example, you might say it’s better to be a millionaire than a pauper. And within that paradigm, those statements make perfect sense. If you were a millionaire and lost all your money, you wouldn’t consider that as growth. As you said, a better word for it would be change.
Another paradigm, however, is that one perspective is no better or worse than any other. Each has value in its own way because each new perspective you experience will foster the growth of your awareness. So within this paradigm, if you had an experience like Bernie Ebbers or Martha Stewart just did, you would still think of it as a growth experience, not merely as change. Even as your material situation seemed to be contracting, your consciousness would ultimately expand as a consequence of experiencing a new perspective.
I’m still goal-oriented. However, the nature of my goals has shifted. It used to be that about 80% of my goals were about physical world accomplishments, and 20% were related to becoming more aware or conscious. Now it’s 80-20 the opposite direction. I find the consciousness-related goals much more challenging and fulfilling.
I would still appreciate it if you feel comfortable answering my question about spectacular achievements.
September 28th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
Yes, Steve, I understand what you mean, but where you are wrong is your believe that stoping karate and starting sweeming is a kind of change that constitutes personal growth. It’s not. Your new attitudes on money is not a sign of growth, it’s a change. If money was to become important to you again, it would not mean that you regressed. The fact that you don’t eat meat and now a vegeterian is not personal growth, it’s a new view on diet, well being, etc. If you view it this way (that being vegeterian is the result of concious living) you are kidding yourself.
As far as achievements go - you take any person with personal growth and they are obvious. Let’s take Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King. Ask any of your friends - what did these guys do and (provided they know who these guys are) you’ll get the same answers. That’s what I mean. There is no ambiguity. Were Gandi or Mother Teresa people who’ve grown substantially? Yes. What is the RESULT of that. Any college student will tell you about Gandi, passive resistance, civil rights. Same with mother Teresa.
Did Steve Pavlina made a quantum leap in his personal growth? We’ll, I don’t know, you decide. What is the RESULT of that - lets take a look. You do help people or do you write that your goal is helping people and the fact you have such a goal makes you feel so good and comfie inside that you think of yourself as a product of personal growth.
Where does this personal growth come from, Steve? Your head? Books you read?
You can get good body by thinking in your head that you are pumping iron nor by reading “Great Abs in 6 days”. You have to pump the iron. Same with personal growth. What have you DONE within past …. months to grow personally?
It’s easy to see where growth is real and where it’s fake.
Did you grow over time as a game developer - yes and that’s easy to see to anyone who tracks Dexterity. Do you grow as a writer - yes, one can see that too. More articles, new twists, more visitors, etc.
Are you growing personally or playing head games with yourself? Let’s look at results.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:01 am
@Wonga: I believe I understand the kinds of results you’re looking for. At this point in my life, you wouldn’t be able to see those results too well via the internet. There are books and movies about Mandela, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa which make it easier to see the results they achieved. They also worked on their visions much longer than a year.
I believe that helping people find purpose in life and to live more consciously is a worthy end in itself. The physical manifestation is that readers of this site have quit unfulfilling jobs, transformed relationships, and started deciding and choosing their dreams more consciously (such as by starting their own businesses). It’s fair to say that there are dozens of new businesses that exist today at least indirectly because of the work done here. This is assuming people were truthful in reporting these changes to me via email. I’ve also received emails about people changing their lives for the better in other ways — starting new relationships, reaching new educational goals, etc. Many of these emails are very long, sharing with me the details of how the person’s transformation took place. I always enjoy reading them because it helps me see how certain ideas impact people.
These may not be worthy results in your opinion, and that’s fine if you don’t value them much. To me they are worthwhile. A change like a new business being formed is the material manifestation of a person’s own growth in consciousness. I help foster the growth in consciousness — they start the business.
Helping people grow in consciousness is to me the most worthwhile end I could pursue. Even while I was running Dexterity, I could see the rippling effect of how raising people’s awareness in some areas would lead them to manifest concrete changes in their lives. I realized that if I could help thousands more people identify their purpose in live and live more consciously, that would have a greater long-term effect on the world than anything I did purely for myself.
I sometimes think of my work as planting seeds. Those seeds are thoughts and ideas. When they go out into the world, they have a rippling effect. I saw this happen with my Dexterity articles, and I see it happening today. Almost every day I receive emails from people telling me about those ripples. “I quit my job to start my own business.” “I asked my girlfriend to marry me.” “I decided that what I really want to do with my life is to be a writer, and I’m going back to school.” “I started a new exercise program and have kept it up for 30 days and have a lot more energy now.” “I left an abusive relationship.” “I nearly doubled my productivity at work and soon received a promotion.”
Did not Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa all serve to raise people’s awareness, to make us more conscious, to plant seeds within us? I would say that this was the greatest effect of their work, which endures even after death. I’ve read their stories too, and their thoughts and ideas are now seeds in my own consciousness.
I’m excited to think of all the long-term ripples that will manifest in the coming years. It fills me with joy to imagine how the world might be transformed with thousands more purpose-driven highly conscious beings living in it.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:11 am
Regarding Tom Hopkins, I think in sales, what matters is where your heart is. You can use those techniques with your heart in the wrong place, and people will see right through you. But if your heart is in the right place, it’s like baking a cake and using a good recipe or using your best recipe - which would you rather eat? A sales person who has their heart in the right place is even better when they use techniques that make people more comfortable with the transaction. Why would you intentionally make something more difficult for someone by using words that have bad connotations - contract vs paperwork? Paperwork is much easier to do than signing a contract - your job as a salesperson is to make the customer feel comfortable with the transaction, so you’re doing your job. If a salesperson started using more confrontational verbage (contract) with me, I would be less comfortable with the sale. If you’re selling something to someone that they don’t need, it doesn’t matter what language you use, you’re a crook. If you’re solving a problem, a legitimate problem with a good solution, you’re doing someone a favor and you don’t want to distract them by using language that makes the process more difficult.
Bottom line, it’s where your heart is. People are more important than things or money. As long as you have that figured out, using good sales techniques can only help you. It’s like using the right recipe for your cake - you may make a cake, but if you make a really good cake, you’re much better off than you are if you just make a cake to get by. Excellence.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:14 am
@Tana: Very well said.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:40 am
I am sure you receive tons of feedback, mostly positive, people thanking you. It’s important that you do. But let’s look at your personal growth work from this prospective. Are you able to write a book on game marketing that would be “good” in a sense that people would tell you it’s good? Yes, absolutely (you were going to do that). Do you know why that would happen? Because there is hunger for this information and you’d satisfy it. In fact, a while ago at Indiegamer there was a discussion about that. Almost overwhelmingly people said that your game marketing were very good and very helpful. But in all other discussion on your personality the main idea was that Steve Pavlina is better at promoting himself rather than games (that was a remark from Reflexive). And I think you’d agree that if a game developer would give the game to one of the portals to market, what would all do at least 10X better that you at Dexterity.Com. In fact at least some of the developers who gave games to you said that results were mediocre at best.
That’s exactly what I am trying to say - this seems to be a theme of your life, at least lately. You are able to write interesting articles for which people will thank you and say that it was very helpful. But when you do something, the results are mediocre. I think that if you were to do one on one personal coaching, you’d see what you are actually worth as a personal growth professional. You see, if there are 400000 people reading your blog, chances are they’ll change their lives in one way or another, and they’ll tend to think that these changes are due to your blogs, whereas in reality it could be any blog or just a remark from a friend. In fact, I can probably find some popular new age or guru-type site filled with crap that has more positive feedback than you. This is not to discourage you, but to say, Steve, get out of your head. If I am indeed correct in my assesment, pretty soon you’ll feel that you are trying to cheat yourself.
September 29th, 2005 at 7:01 am
@Wonga: Interesting mindset… not the one I happen to hold, but interesting nonetheless. Let’s see what happens over the next decade or two.
September 29th, 2005 at 11:07 am
If every personal growth/development coach had to achieve the level of Mandela or Gandhi before he was qualified to start working there wouldn’t be many of them around. There must be thousands of club tennis coaches around the world who would not win a single point against Roger Federer. Should they be barred from coaching? Not at all. They are succeeding in enabling many people to enjoy the game of tennis.
It is a major benefit of the free-market system that anybody can set himself up to do just about anything within the law. The market then votes with its business who succeeds and who fails. Some will have more success than others, but there is room for many more than just the very best in each field. And even though the very best may be great now, they were once beginners who had the courage to start.
September 29th, 2005 at 6:10 pm
Hi Steve,
Just wanted to let you know that I made my first million last month. Just wanted to dedicate that success to you. I learnt a lot from you. Some of the key lessons are:
1. Waking up early regularly
2. Understanding the concept of success in the dimensions of finances,career, family, social, spirituality and community. I am giving back to the community my time, effort and financial help and it has really provided the warm feeling of mental peace.
3. Just like you have people like Wonga Tonga, who do not value your contribution, I have also seen some people who dont seem to understand the concept that success and growth is largely how you define it. But, my friend, don’t let the Wongas of the world deter you from your path of making a difference. You have made a big difference in the lives of many people through your positive messages. Dont steal their inspiration by replying to the questions of people like Wonga.
Remember that no matter how good you are, how much of a difference you make, there will always be some people who’d not agree with you. Mahatma Gandhi was shot dead and Socrates was poisoned. Every one is entitled to their opinions. By trying to win people, who obviously dont agree with you, you waste your enormous time and energy, which could have been effectively utilized creating hope for the enormous volumes of readers of your blogs.
Yours truly,
A work in progress
September 30th, 2005 at 2:17 am
Listen folks…This is my very first time on this blogg and i was highly disappointed to see you guys bashing each other about “substance’….and other blah blah blahs…. Forget about all those talks….Steve pick up your courage and quit telling everyone about becoming a PRO….just become a pro…..JUST DO IT! Always remeber, too many cooks spoil the broth….You never can know who would give you the most poisoning advice…Just become a PRO Speaker…and then later you can write a book about how you did….many people will still buy it… NOBODY STARTS OUT WITH THE SYSTINE CHAPPEL