Suggest a Topic
June 10th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina
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I’ve been asked if I’m open to suggestions for new blog topics. The answer is yes. I’ve been open to them since day one. Many of the topics I’ve covered have been suggested by readers, including the recent series on self-discipline.
Whenever someone sends me a suggestion for a new topic, I add it to my ideas list for future blog entries. If I think enough people will be interested in a particular personal development topic, I’ll usually address it in some fashion if I haven’t done so already.
Lately I’ve had to stop accepting requests for personal advice via email. I was able to handle that for several months, but the volume of traffic has become too high for me to continue. I knew this point would eventually come, but I didn’t expect it to occur this soon. I made a conscious decision to focus on one-to-many communication (writing, speaking, blogging) as opposed to one-to-one communication (personalized advice, coaching, counseling). Partly this is because of my personal goals, and partly it’s because of the nature of the internet. I can answer an email and reach one person, or I can make a blog post or write an article and reach thousands. While I do find great benefit in helping people one-on-one, I don’t think email is the best way to do it — for that I prefer face-to-face communication because it’s so much richer than plain text. This is why I like the combination of writing and speaking. Writing can reach more people, but speaking forms a stronger personal connection.
If you’d like to suggest a topic or pose a question for a future blog entry, feel free to do so either by posting a comment below or by sending me a message. You can make anonymous suggestions if you wish.
Here are some of the requests I’ve already received, so if any of these interest you as well, please let me know (I’m more likely to blog about a topic if I see a lot of interest in it):
- I have no idea what I should be doing with my life. How do I figure this out? How do I know which goals to set?
- How can I become more confident?
- What problems are you struggling with personally? What’s really hard for you?
- What do you do for fun?
- How can I relax and reduce stress?
- I’m in a long-term relationship. It’s pretty good but not quite what I wanted. How do I decide whether I should break up or not?
- I’d like to hear your comments on increasing your energy. I often find myself mentally drained and was wondering what advice you have for feeling revved up and focused all day long.
- What do you do if you’re stuck in a job you know you don’t like, but you don’t know what else to do and you need the money?
- Sometimes I feel really aware, and I know I need to set goals and do something with my life. Everything seems clear. But other times it’s like I’m stuck in a fog, and I waste a lot of time with no goals and later regret it. How can I get my awareness to stay high and stop sinking back down again?
- What are your religious beliefs? You’ve mentioned studying different belief systems and that you don’t belong to any organized religion. But do you believe in God or an afterlife? How do your spiritual beliefs connect with the rest of your life? I’d like to know how you see the “big picture.”
- How can I overcome an addiction like smoking?
- What about happiness? How important is that? What role does it play in personal development?
- You scare me!
June 10th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
i’m going to love reading a blog entry which is all about how you developed dweep. how you first got the idea, how you did the market research, how did you market it, etc. And don’t link me to dexerity.com articles!! I’ve already read them 10999 times
June 10th, 2005 at 2:04 pm
I would definitely be interested in a “how to choose/set long-term goals” article or blog entry. Over the years, my goal horizon has shrunk considerably. How can I get it back out to “where it belongs” and really give attention to the things that will matter for me in the long term, both in life and at work?
I discovered your writing through online disccusions of David Allen’s “Getting Things Done,” which I’ve been working with for a while. When I start to think about his higher-altitude views (1-2 years, 3-5 years, life), I find that I don’t have well-formed ideas of what I want, so goal-choosing advice (or suggestions for resources) would be helpful to me.
June 10th, 2005 at 2:16 pm
I’d like to see an article about #8. Personally, I don’t hate my job but it doesn’t give me much satisfaction. In my case I *do* know what I really want to do, but to pursue it requires time, money and freedom in my schedule that I just don’t have as long as I have a full-time job. How do you “burn the ships” if you have a family to support? I’ll keep this non-specific and say that my passion lies in a creative field that requires great time and dedication but won’t be able to pay my mortgage or put food on the table for quite some time (probably not unlike what you’re doing now).
June 10th, 2005 at 2:23 pm
A few suggestions:
- How do you cope with social resistance when you’re trying to change your life for the better?
- How do you make sure that, after reading about a certain self-improvement topic, you continue the process by actually doing something about it instead of procrastinating?
- Any advice on improving mental resilience? How do you get back up when you’re down, instead of cowering and wallowing in self-pity?
Thanks a lot for your great weblog!
June 10th, 2005 at 2:30 pm
I like 2, 9, and 10.
June 10th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
Hi Steve
One of the things I have most often wished for from your site is a list of recommended literature. Maybe categorized along the lines of your categories, or just a general personal development recommendation list.
I have been reading some literature lately (inspired by your blog), but I find it hard to separate the good books from the bad ones before I buy them
I just finished a book called “Building the Bridge As You Walk On It” by Robert E. Quinn which I found very useful. I have also read some books that was less useful. I think a list of recommended books would be a nice reference for where to start.
Expectations are also high for your upcoming book
June 10th, 2005 at 4:53 pm
Hi all,
My first post her, even though I’ve been reading avidly for weeks
I know youu copped a bit of flak for it, but I found the metaphysics and lucid dreaming articles really thought provoking. Do you plan to write any more on that? (It’s a little off topic for a ‘personal development blog’, so I can understand why some ppl got annoyed - it’s not what they’re here for after all…)
I’d like to see some advice on addictions. Alcohol and smoking are the obvious ones, there are also more ‘innocent’ addictions which are just as hard to break, like net gaming and porn.
Thanks for continued great writing
Dave
June 10th, 2005 at 5:03 pm
I’d definitely like to hear an entry for #7.
I’ve been working really hard lately and sometimes I just feel like I’m in a vehicle that has picked up so much momentum its harder to steer my thoughts anymore. Perhaps some suggestions that would improve my energy would allow me to keep my tank full and my steering sharp so I don’t get off course and crash into a tree. Metaphorically of course…
June 10th, 2005 at 8:00 pm
- How to start a relationship when you are of the hermit/loner kind, I like the way I am, I just find it impossible to attract any girls, all seem to love going out to clubs and being all social, stuff that I hate…
- How to be true to your feelings when speaking? Sometimes I’m mad at someone but something inside me don’t let me speak to that person in an angry voice tone, I’ve also noticed my voice tone is different depending on who I talk to, it’s different when I talk to a stranger or if I talk to a friend, or my mother, and I hate this, but I cannot control it.
-similar to te last one, how to control your facial expressions so it’s not so obvious you are getting mad at something somebody is telling you. Sometimes friends tell jokes about me, I try to take it as a joke and don’t mind it, but I get mad and it shows in my face, and I hate it, seems like I cannot handle a simple joke, and I don’t like it…
June 10th, 2005 at 11:41 pm
I like #1, 9 and definately #13!
Also the above anonymous suggestion, How do you make sure that, after reading about a certain self-improvement topic, you continue the process by actually doing something about it instead of procrastinating?
June 11th, 2005 at 12:06 am
How about more ‘exercises’ that challenge us to do something? Like the 30 day challenge, and the ‘discover your live purpose in 20 minutes’ articles?
*Doing* something to reinforce what I’ve learned often makes a lesson much stronger than simply reading something.
June 11th, 2005 at 5:06 am
I would like to read #9.
June 11th, 2005 at 7:54 am
I’d love to see a long list of books and audio tapes that have made a difference to you. I’m always looking for more books to read on the subject, but a trip to the bookstore can often be overwhelming. There’s so much stuff.
June 11th, 2005 at 11:00 am
You’re doing great…but no further forays into the New-Agey supernatural paranormal stuff, please. Stick to the here and now.
June 11th, 2005 at 12:39 pm
I’d like to see an article about how to get into a state of concentration. For example, some people seem to disconnect themselves from the world when reading a book and getting their attention is hard without actually tapping them on the shoulders. I never have that. I’m always aware of things around me and I am easily distracted. Also, my mind keeps wandering off. I’d really like to get more focused. I’ve been considering meditation of some sort, but I wouldn’t know where to start.
Also, I like the first topic Alan suggest.
June 11th, 2005 at 2:43 pm
2 interests me the most. There are times when I do have confidence but the wave riding against me is a bit more than I can handle so I lose confidence. I suppose its similar to when you were trying to carry all those classes in a single semeter against the administration’s wishes.
June 11th, 2005 at 7:43 pm
Thank you for your great writings. I’d like to see you write on #8, please.
June 11th, 2005 at 11:56 pm
I would love to see an article about breaking a bad habit/addiction.
June 12th, 2005 at 1:42 am
I’d like to see articles about topics 1, 5, 6 and 7. Thanks a lot for this site!
June 12th, 2005 at 9:32 am
Refering to your list, the most important topics for me are 1 and 9.
June 12th, 2005 at 10:08 am
Something along the lines of developing a line of work that you can be passionate about, and the logical step after this of starting your own business and what that takes, not only in terms of external resources but internal!
Most of us have been conditoned to: go to school, get good grades, graduate, get a job–and stay there! It’s a new, changing world out there, and employer loyalty went out the window a long time ago. I got laid off after 21 years in a bank. I am just starting to realize that I have skills I can market in my own training seminars, and not through an employer. I have found it’s incredibly exciting to be at the end of the phone that asks: “Expiration date?” (so I can charge the caller’s credit cards)!
Check out this link:
http://marshallbrain.com/million.htm
June 12th, 2005 at 10:22 am
I will suggest overcoming addiction
June 12th, 2005 at 10:59 am
An advice on how to break an addiction would be much appreciated.
Many thanks for your efforts.
June 12th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
Great!, what about talking about how to be tolerant? most people get on my nerves all the time, I don’t explode but I get angry and I think it’s not worthy but I cannot help it…
Also, how to retrieve data from the ‘unconscious’ side of your mind to your conscious side?, I think some painters are very good at this, they can draw perfect human bodies or faces without a model in front of them… We know the unconscious mind is very powerful yet I don’t know if there’s some way to access the info it has stored (without being hypnotized).
June 12th, 2005 at 4:13 pm
I would also like an article on concentration. I have noticed that very productive people can sit and focus on what they are doing for sustained periods, but I always find it difficult for my mind not to slip onto something else.
Despite being a decisive person, I also find it difficult to know what I want sometimes, and instead do what I feel I should.
I also like topics 1, 2 and 4.
June 12th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Number 1: “I have no idea what I should be doing with my life. How do I figure this out? How do I know which goals to set?” is a really though nut to crack, especially when you ask yourself the ultimate question: “When I’m dead, how will the world remember me?”.
I’ve been thinking about that in the back of my mind for about ½ a year now and I have a general idea, but I’m not even close to creating my personal mission statement.
Any inspiration on number 1 is greatly appreciated.
Best Regards
Peter
June 12th, 2005 at 7:41 pm
I vote for #7 and #9, although all of the topics look interesting. I would also like to hear more about taking breaks from work. Sometime ago you’ve mentioned that you usually do tasks in 2 hours chunks. Do you just plan what you’re doing so that you switch from one activity to another thus changing the focus and creating a break? Are the breaks are really not of much use?
Thanks. Keep up the cool posts!
Slava
June 12th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
I have been reading your blogs regularly and I really appreciate the kind of work you do. It is been very inspirational. Thank you!
You have always claimed Self-Discipline as one factor which works above the passion for anyones success. It defnitely makes a lot of sense. What about something along those lines for #8.
June 12th, 2005 at 9:56 pm
I would like to read about ALL of the topics, but most importantly #1, #4, #5 and #12.
June 12th, 2005 at 10:01 pm
I want to add a vote for number 1.
I have various ideas about my life, and I think I can sense a general direction, but I am still not sure about it, and how to plan it.
June 12th, 2005 at 10:43 pm
I’d love to read about something like “How to not become addicted to self-help” or further exploration of your recent post “Trust yourself, not experts”.
From your list I very much prefer #1
June 12th, 2005 at 11:51 pm
i know whatever you write on will be worthwhile reading, as usual! #6 in particular is resonating with me…
June 13th, 2005 at 12:19 am
#8 is very interesting and I think it is actual for many peoples.
Thank you for your blog.)
June 13th, 2005 at 1:02 am
3, 10, and most of the others.
I like personal touch in your writings. It makes me believe and makes me feel confident about what you’re writing.
June 13th, 2005 at 2:05 am
Another vote for topic number 1.
I’m having trouble deciding the sourse of my life, and any help would be appreciated.
June 13th, 2005 at 6:34 am
I’m not sure I can frame this as a question, but bear with me.
I find that I can have an activity that I enjoy a lot, but if, for some reason I *have* to do it then I lose the interest and enjoyment extremely quickly.
Example: I loved programming right up until I went to university and did it as a degree. Then it became (and has stayed) ‘work’ and I don’t ever touch code when I’m not in the office - I even resent any time spent talking about it in any detail.
This has happened with other things, not just those related to making a living - it’s just the easiest example. Anything I like, if I feel pressured to do it (and pressure is from myself - I don’t put up with other people pressuring me), I come to dislike and resent.
I’d like an article on this sort of problem, as I haven’t seen much on the topic.
June 13th, 2005 at 6:38 am
I read all your dexterity articles and have followed your writing here since day one. But, although I feel inspired by many of the things you’ve said, I just can’t seem to get moving forward.
I tried tracking my time every minute as you suggest. I tried setting up a GTD system … I just can’t seem to GTD. I make a little progress for a few days then things seem to fall apart and I’m back to square one again. I’m like that guy pushing the boulder up the hill in Dante’s Inferno.
How can I get the kick in the pants I need to keep some forward momentum? Is there a “Weight Watchers” or “Toastmasters” for personal development? I want to improve, I want to be a good role model for my daughter as she grows up (she’s 11 months now). But the things I’ve tried just don’t seem to take.
What the heck is wrong with me?
June 13th, 2005 at 10:45 am
Please write something about being organized.
My house is a mess.
June 13th, 2005 at 12:52 pm
I’m wishing that you’d post a blog entry for 7#. “I’d like to hear your comments on increasing your energy. I often find myself mentally drained and was wondering what advice you have for feeling revved up and focused all day long.”
June 13th, 2005 at 3:41 pm
Hi Steve, I’d like to hear more about how you built your web presence. Your site is an inspiration to a lot of people.
John
June 13th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
Hello Steve, I would like to know more about #12 and how to make myself happy either. I’m in the age of 20s, so that I’m a little bit confused in what I really want to be in the future. Guess that this is why I don’t feel happy.
Thanks,
Amornthep
June 13th, 2005 at 9:40 pm
Wow, there must be a decent sized following around here, judging by these reponses.
Steve - how about setting up a discussion board so we can chat, swap tips , give advice and get to know each other?
June 14th, 2005 at 12:02 am
Steve, it would be great to read something regarding each of mentioned topics. To choose just some i vote for ## 1,2,5,7,8.
Thanks for your inspirational blog and articles.
June 14th, 2005 at 9:03 am
Hello, Steve. I’d like to add to the post above.
- How do you cope with social resistance when you’re trying to change your life for the better?
How do you improve/become more efficient while in marriage? How do you work with the spouse that likes TV, etc. and in general is not very efficient. What do you when one can commit to getting up at 5AM and do it. Cut TV to 4h/week. But the other side doesn’t have as much drive or reason to improve.
It seems like in marriage, improvement achieved by one side will be spread out over 2 people and one side will reach it’s limit without the other person working on the same stuff. What do you do then?
Thanks,
Mark
June 16th, 2005 at 7:05 am
Hello Steve.
I think you should make a topic about how manage self-improvement while we have goals to reach.
For example, i’ve a cruel choice to do everyday: must i read your articles or others personal development sources or must i spend my time working on my goals?
If i’ve bad methods, bad habits and spend my time working on action, i will be few efficiently and this during all my life.
But if i search about personal development info in order to be more efficiently, i lose time for action.
Of course, we have to balance our time between action and self-improvment but i’ve tendency to fall into one or other attitude.
It’s like action and thinking. Difficult to balance this 2 aspects : often people simply think too much and no act, and sometimes, it’s the contrary.
June 25th, 2005 at 11:51 am
I vote for #7 and #9, although all of the topics look interesting. I would also like to hear more about taking breaks from work. Sometime ago you’ve mentioned that you usually do tasks in 2 hours chunks. Do you just plan what you’re doing so that you switch from one activity to another thus changing the focus and creating a break? Are the breaks are really not of much use?
Thanks. Keep up the cool posts!