Dark Night of the Soul
March 31st, 2005 by Steve Pavlina
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One of the things I’m struggling with in my life right now is making the leap to what I see as the next level of awareness I want to experience.
I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m very clear about my purpose, and it has become a powerful driver for me. Whenever I align myself with the purpose of serving others as best I can and expecting nothing in return, my motivation is powerful and I live totally in the present moment.
At the same time, part of my life is still being run at the level of business, career, and money. This is the level where my ego gets involved, and I think about things like writing and self-publishing info products, generating income, building a business, putting on my own seminars, building a brand, etc. But I can also see that this is a lower level of awareness than that at which my purpose draws me towards.
When I work at the level of purpose, my concern for these business factors fades. When I work at the level of business, my ability to live my purpose is weakened. The problem is that these are two different levels of consciousness; they’re incongruent. I can shift between the two states, but I can’t remain in both simultaneously.
The level of business suggests that I build a line of info products to sell and/or make money as a professional speaker. I have to support myself and my family financially. But at this level, I’m creating information that I “own,” protecting copyrights, and creating a business entity whose survival I must then protect — from fraud, competition, etc.
But the level of purpose means that I devote my life purely to service. This is the level that suggests that no true teacher seeks material gain. At this level, I write and speak for free. Material gain is irrelevant. I only need to cover my basic needs, so I can keep doing my best to help people.
I ran Dexterity Software for many years at the level of business. I know very well what that level is like. Creating cool products, dealing with customers, outsmarting competitors, negotiating contracts, etc. It’s an exciting ride. But that level ceases to provide any meaning for me now. I’ve simply lost all interest in working for material gain. At one time money and success in business were very motivating to me, but now they’re empty and hollow when compared to other pursuits. I’ve read that the Buddha experienced a similar shift in his thinking in his late 20s, when he realized he could no longer enjoy his princely riches while there was still suffering in the world. I can relate to that.
The level of purpose has become so much more real to me now. I would rather invest tremendous effort in helping someone solve one of their most difficult problems for no material gain whatsoever than become a billionaire. I know that may sound like an exaggeration, but at the level of awareness I’m at as I type this, it’s true for me. This is the level at which I’ve been working for the past six months. I’ve been writing for free and speaking for free, doing so primarily out of a desire to grow and to serve others. And even though I’ve only scratched the surface of my purpose, it’s been tremendously fulfilling.
I can feel that when I try to take this purpose and turn it into a business motivated by profit, that type of thinking lowers my awareness and my energy. And yet somehow, when I don’t worry about the money, I always seem to have plenty. At this level I’m tapping into a source of abundance which is more powerful than the level of business. Instead of exchanging information and ideas for money, I just give everything away without expecting anything in return. I could have written and self-published a book or two by now and generated a small pile of cash if I focused on that instead of writing for free. But deep down I know that my purpose must be centered around service first and foremost. When I work at that level, everything seems to work effortlessly.
When I ran Dexterity Software, I never quite understood the people who contributed to “free” open source software for no material gain, often seeing them as a lower life form compared to those who created “real” software to sell. This view is fairly common among shareware developers, who work hard to protect their copyrighted materials from piracy because it’s the source of their income. My perspective has changed, however, and I now see such selfless contributors as potentially living at a much higher level of awareness than I gave them credit for.
And yet still it’s very tempting to return to the level of business that I’m familiar with. But I know it’s only fear that’s holding me back. I need to raise my awareness to a high enough level where I can transcend the fear of not being able to meet my basic needs (and those of my family). As long as this universe continues to allow it, I will do my best to continue putting my focus on service first. Right now I can still feel myself oscillating between these two levels though — I haven’t yet completed the quantum leap to the higher level. One thing that will help is if I can attract into my life someone who’s already at that level and can help me make this transition, so I’m focusing on that intention.
I can see glimpses of the state of being I wish to reach, and for brief periods I experience it, but it is not yet real in my daily existence. I’m in the state right now which has been referred to as the “dark night of the soul,” where I’ve left behind one reality but haven’t yet landed in the next. Because I’ve pushed myself to grow so much over the past decade, I’ve experienced this point before. One previous episode was right before I created the game Dweep — just before developing that game, I transitioned from a lower awareness level to a new higher level, where I was driven by the desire to put something out into the world that was really my best work and which would positively impact people who experienced it; business success was not my primary motivation.
So here I am once again, now trying to reach a level where I am driven purely by the intention to serve, wondering if at such a level, there is indeed no need to worry about meeting one’s basic needs. I intend to continue along this path as long as this reality will physically allow it.
March 31st, 2005 at 5:27 am
“…wondering if at such a level, there is indeed no need to worry about meeting one’s basic needs.”
There’s your problem, Steve. When you stop wondering, it will become true.
You already know this, I can tell from your writing, but that’s what’s holding you back. Let go of your fear and uncertainty. The universe wants to help you to succeed in your goal of helping others. Let it.
March 31st, 2005 at 6:34 am
1) You could argue that people will be more likely to follow your advice if they have had to fork out hard-earned cash for it.
2) By charging for materials, you may be able to sustain the venture for longer and increase its reach further than you could if you were giving everything away for free.
3) People like books. Your info products could be available on the website for free, and people will still buy your books.
4) You can spend the money in ways that would make a difference. You don’t have to spend it all on yourself.
March 31st, 2005 at 7:13 am
Would it help if you aquired a business manager to take care of that particular reality and leaving you open to the other reality you want to live in?
March 31st, 2005 at 7:51 am
Regarding open source software developers: there are many reasons people work with open source software. Some people do so for idealogical reasons, such as creating useful software that won’t restrict freedoms. Others do so for more practical reasons, believing that many eyeballs make all bugs shallow. But not everyone does it selflessly.
Still, I find it interesting that some shareware developers are so afraid of open source. They call it a threat. They think that it is just an immature response to Microsoft. It all just betrays a fear of the unknown.
March 31st, 2005 at 8:34 am
Work We Must, But the Lunch is Free
http://farms.byu.edu/display.php?table=transcripts&id=119&mp=T
is a great essay on just this subject.
Basically, working for lunch is a raw deal and that working for the love of the work is the thing to do. It is a really deep essay and I am not really able to summarize it effectively. It is a good way to live but I don’t know how to do it.
I am an engineer and have not had steady work for nearly three years. Lunch is a strong motivator, when you have a wife and children that are dependent on you for lunch too.
March 31st, 2005 at 11:06 am
Hi Steve,
Thank you very much.
Stay on these roads.
March 31st, 2005 at 1:16 pm
It’s really cool that you try to help others. And your blog is pretty good. Here is a thing, though - being from the gaming community I see a few “problems”. You always tried to position yourself as an “indie game guru”. At least you did not mind that. There was always understanding that the true product of Dexterity is Steve Pavlina himself - not games.
While it’s true that you managed to make a good living off Dexterity - there are numerous examples when fellow developers achieved so much more than you did. One example is Alexander Lyskowski of Alawar.Com. There is also Brad Wardell and Mike Boeh. I share your passion for self-development. And it’s nice to know that there are people out there who know who Jay Abraham is (god, I just love the Gary Halbert - John Carlton crowd, and Jay is absolutely awesome). But I can’t stop thinking while reading your blog - your command of language is excellent - but the content you offer is simply just a little above the average. Could it be possible that you got carried away by your ego (like almost comparing yourself to Budda) and the motivation behind your action is to get Steve Pavlina some fame? In this case, do you really have the substance to offer? My feeling is that you aren’t there quite yet.
March 31st, 2005 at 2:28 pm
It was never my intention to become an “indie game guru.” I posted my articles for free, served as an ASP officer for 2 years for free, spoke at the GDC and SIC for free, ran the Dexterity indie forums ad-free, and gave the forums away for free. I wasn’t motivated by the prestige and certainly not the money; even considering that I was at one point looking for games to publish, this was a terribly inefficient way to do it if profit was my #1 motive. It took me a good 5 years to learn how to make a profit with that business, so I thought it would be nice to share ideas and save others some of the headaches I experienced. When I started doing that in 1999, the feedback I got was very positive in that people were applying the ideas and getting good results, so I continued. If that information still helps people, great.
I’m happy for everyone else in the indie gaming industry that is achieving their goals. My goal was never to build Dexterity Software into a huge enterprise. It was to provide a largely passive income for me, and I achieved that goal. I was able to extract tremendous freedom (and still am) as a result of that decision. I was using the business as a way to fund my exploration of personal development, and it became a launchpad for writing and speaking too. My specific interest in public speaking dates all the way back to 1997.
The freedom Dexterity provided allowed me the chance to “have a life” away from games. I trained in martial arts, ran a marathon, got married and had two kids, bought a house, went to lots of great seminars, and enjoyed numerous hobbies.
So to say that I was the true product of Dexterity Software would be fairly accurate. It would be a little more accurate though to say that the product was my freedom to explore personal growth and share what I learned.
Going back to the indie guru thing though, it may surprise you that I actually found that reputation annoying, especially when people started blindly accepting what I was saying and treating it as some kind of dogma. I’ve been misquoted so often that now it’s just gotten silly.
This pedestal thing is problem. On the one hand, I often use strong, confident language when I write because it gets through to people and leads to some good discussion that often yields new insights for everyone. It induces a reaction, whether people agree with it or not. I am a very confident person, so this is a natural way of communicating for me. But it can also be misinterpreted as ego-gratifying arrogance or come across as too authoritative and thereby discourage debate. I don’t think there’s much I can do about this though aside from just being as real as possible. People create gurus to fill voids in their own lives — it just comes with the territory.
Thanks for the feedback on content quality. I’ll keep at it. Consider yourself a beta tester.
March 31st, 2005 at 3:02 pm
I like the business manager idea. Find someone who is so passionate about helping people with the business-side of a venture, that it will free you up to focus on the “service” side. Because for the passionate and “conscious” business manager, helping other people with the business-aspect of things is the business manager’s own version of service to others.
And you have worked on the business-side long enough to be able tell the difference between (a) someone who would be a good business manager and who would be congruent with your values, and (b) someone who might excel at maximizing the bottom-line of a business, but would sell his grandmother in a second if the price was right.
March 31st, 2005 at 3:27 pm
And there could be a problem Steve. If you *really* believed strongly then devoting your life to service by the nature of the things we discussed before would not be a problem. And you should know that already because you are convinced that creating your own reality is possible.
To me, something here does not add up… Either you know/feel/suspect that creating your own reality does not really work or devoting yourself to life of service is not what you really want or perhaps both…
On the other hand you can always try both alternatives, they are not mutually exclusive at all. They could complement each other nicely.
March 31st, 2005 at 3:46 pm
For me it’s more a matter of deciding whether I want to make such a big shift and understanding exactly what it would mean rather than whether I think I can do it. It requires thinking and acting from a new paradigm, one that isn’t easy to get a handle on.
I’ve made the decision though. I’m going for it. No matter what happens, I’ll learn something.
March 31st, 2005 at 3:46 pm
Steve, based upon all of the material that you have written on this blog, I am absolutely convinced that you have 100% of what it takes to do whatever you would like to do and be successful. Your ability to share your thoughts and ideas (MANY WITH INCREDIBLE SUBSTANCE I MIGHT ADD!) unselfishly with the online community is an indication to me that you have reached a level in life that is consistant with many successful leaders throughout time. Unleash your true desires on the world and continue to share your wisdom via motivational video, books, or other publications.
Finally,I want to take one moment to thank you for your interesting insights regarding motivation as it relates to unselfish motives. There was an article that you wrote that hit home that discussed the ability have sustainable motivation through life. Your insights allowed my views to “crystallize” on the subject and I am making great progress in several areas of my life as a result. YOU HAVE MADE AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE. (Where do i send the check…lol)
Your style of writing is excellent and your content is somewhere between good and outstanding. Anyone who focusses on your possible motives(ego or power driven)for sharing great information should ask themselves why are they being critical? Could it be that they lack confidence themselves or could it be that they have jealousy issues?
All I can say is that I am confident and independent person and I appreciate your writing style and I do not take it as being egocentric. However, I do have my flaws and I do appreciate insights like yours to give me periodic “boosts” in life.
Thanks Steve
You are a true winner in life
March 31st, 2005 at 7:18 pm
Great thoughts, Steve. BTW, Dark Night of the Soul is one of my favorite texts…
It’s always fascinating to read you–your descriptions of being so mindful in shifting your paradigm really seems to be your whole philosophy in a nutshell. That bit of inspiration is what I appreciate most about your writing. Good stuff, brother.
Keep on keepin’ on…
March 31st, 2005 at 11:18 pm
Did not mean to offend you - Steve (well, you took no offense).
But this is my point exactly - you’ll find out that a lot of people are thankful for your articles and they’ll say things like “Steve is cool”. But try to find a single indie developer who could say - because of Steve Pavlina I made XXX in sales of my games. Especially now - all your infromation about game marketing is outdated and irrelevant - not because you did something wrong, but because the market has changed. Sure you could experiment with nag screens - but guess what - you just won’t be able to put your game in front of enough people.
This is what I am getting to. I am a student of Jay Abraham and his stuff works (we both know it). But if I tried to teach Jay Abrahams stuff to others - would it work? Probably not, at least not as well when Jay does it.
You’ve definitely come far and you’ve followed through your plan. You’ll get tons of people saying “Steve awesome posts” (they are good) - but these are newbees who don’t know the self-help, motivational market from the inside.
People who watch Oprah think that Dr. Phil is some kind of a genius.
While I am positive that you’ll achieve your goal as a public speaker (simply because you are obsessed with the idea and that’s good) - will you have real substance to offer? Not the self-help hogwash Chopra-style. Something that would really have an impact on people, as opposed to people padding you on the back and saying (”Steve your are good, you turned my life around”). Sorry to be a prick - but to me as a marketer 3000 visitors a day for Dexterity is very small compared to 80000 visitors Alawar gets from Alawar.Com and GameXtazy. Or what Brad Wardell does.
I mean would you like compare yourself to a regular clueless indie to whom your Dexterity stats look impressive or the pros that made over 150000 sales of a single title (I am referring to Brad).
If you want to be in the same league as Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins, you probably need to get more real success behind your belt.
I know that you can handle some negativity, it’s just a small ass-kicking session to bring you to reality. Wish you luck with your endeavors, Steve
April 1st, 2005 at 5:57 am
Hello again,
On this blog you said the purpose in life is all, nothing else matters. If your purpose is to affect people minds and change their lives, then you’re on your way.
You currently have some material stuff in your life. You have a business, computers, a car that’s fully paid for. But that’s all just stuff. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have any real value. You’d gladly give it all up and live in a shack if that was the price you’d have to pay to live your mission. You may die rich, or you may die broke. But you won’t die with your music still in you.
What does it mean to really live? Deep down, you already have a sense of the direction where this answer lies for you. Ultimately, it’s a choice. You’re totally free to live the kind of life you want. But you’ll know you’re really living when you would live pretty much the same way even if you knew you only had 18 months left. If you would make some big changes in your life upon learning that you only had 18 months to live, then why not make those changes now?
You already live on purpose.
BTW, your recent post “My Reality or Yours” sounds like revelation. Most of the content on this site is very interesting to read, but some posts are just beyond that, they’re outstanding.
They change my life as well - I’ll later explain how. To give you more motivation for your purpose in life. For now just believe me. I only had to imagine I only have 18 months left in life.
Best wishes,
April 1st, 2005 at 6:29 am
It is ironical but I’ve found this advertisement on a left side of a page while reading this article.
http://www.goalfree.com/
It would be interesting to hear your opinion on it.
BTW, please, write a book. It would definetely land in arms of many people. I like reading your site a lot but sometimes book is better. Don’t you practice reading one book a week? “reading one blog a week” doesn’t sound
Thanks!
Vx
April 1st, 2005 at 8:18 am
Bugiman, actually yes — I still have copies of all the emails I’ve gotten from developers over the past several years that contain positive feedback about how they applied various ideas from my articles or posts to increase their sales, improve their products, negotiate new deals, etc.
In fact I’m still getting positive feedback emails from people who are applying this stuff today, and it still works. The application is a little different now than it was 5 years ago, but the basic premise of finding and filling a market need is still valid. Check out Thomas Warfield’s recent blog post at http://www.asharewarelife.com if you haven’t already seen it.
I’ve applied many of the same concepts to grow this site from nothing to 5000 visitors per day in six months without spending a dime on marketing. And that’s with less than 1% of traffic coming from search engines. Any indie developer could take similar actions to build a high-traffic site and then generate cashflow from that traffic. 3000 visitors/day is too little IMO (Dexterity.com gets a lot more than that). I’d aim for at least 5-10K visitors per day to build a sustainable income from a games site. I know people can do OK with less traffic, but I think 5K/day is about the minimum to generate decent direct sales — 10K/day if you only have one or two products.
If I were starting a new games site from scratch today, I’d pick a niche and start putting up tons of free content to build traffic. But the mistake so many indies make is that they pump out generic games that aren’t filling any needs. They target needs that are already filled. Indies keep trying to innovate in the area of the product itself, and that’s very limiting. Everyone is doing that. But there are plenty of other ways to innovate aside from content. In the field of professional speaking, my blog is fairly unique — not too many pro speakers blog. But through my blog I’m already able to address more people every month than most personal development speakers do. I looked at what all the other speakers were doing and then did something else.
I don’t watch Oprah or Dr. Phil, so I can’t give any feedback on those. Not my cup of tea. My wife’s book was shown on the Dr. Phil show once, but he didn’t mention the author or title, so he didn’t earn any browny points with us.
The rest of your comments seem to be based on erroneous assumptions about my goals and motivations. You seem to use an external defintion of success (fame, fortune, etc.). I view success as the process of achieving my goals, not someone else’s goals for me. I was successful when I was dead broke and in debt. I knew what I wanted, and it was only a matter of time to get it. Were my goals for my games business the same as Alawar or Stardock? Not at all. I’m sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting that I wanted to copy the results of Alawar or PopCap or GameHouse. It was very clear to me that I wouldn’t be going that route. If I evaluated these companies based on my own personal goals, they’ll all be failures — it makes little sense to assume that everyone has the same business goals just because their businesses look similar on the outside.
Are my goals today the same as Tony Robbins or Deepak Chopra? Not remotely. Don’t expect that I’ll be doing the same things that other speakers do.
I’m always open to feedback on the quality of content I’m putting out and whether or not it’s having an impact. While obviously not everyone will find benefit in it, it’s clear to me that some people are really being helped in ways that matter. And to me that’s a lot more important and motivating than trying to earn entry into some sort of “league” of pro speakers — I’m sorry but your statement to that effect just made me laugh because it’s so inconsistent with my goals and values.
Now the best and most helpful feedback you can give me would be to tell me what problems you’re struggling with in your life which still need solutions. If you want to do so privately, feel free. I always answer advice questions sent via the feedback form on this site, as anyone who’s asked can readily attest.
April 1st, 2005 at 8:19 am
Regarding the Goal Free site, the author posted some comments here a while ago, and we had a brief exchange. I’m not sure which thread it was though (probably something about goals).
April 1st, 2005 at 9:54 am
Well, Steve, I am glad you’ve cleared all that up. As of problems I struggle with - sure I do have those. I am fine financially. I am 26, just had a baby boy born March 17, run a successful web business (my rating in RegNow is one spot above Alawar), make about 50K a year which is very good by Russian standards. It’s all passive income, just like yours - hardly have to work more than 3 hours a day (well, I really can’t with a newborn). I lived in the states for six years. In fact I graduated from Del Oro High School and got my BS in Microbiology from UC Davis. Telling you all that so you know that I can relate to you and you can relate to me. I also have some psychology and NLP background. So what the fuck is my problem? Well, I know that I should have achieve much more than I have. I’ve been down this liberal - vegeterian-”save the whales”- peace corp - let’s help others - bullshit road back when I was at USD. I now do realize that it was just other people’s ideas that influenced me. I also did find out that I used that as an excuse and an ego trip (we all do have those). At this point of life it’s pretty clear to me that what I was is basically a Modesto A’s baseball player who’d say “I can teach you how to play baseball like a pro”. I mean, Steve, is that really an accomplishment that you and I (and many others) have passive income and make a good living. No it’s not. It’s a necessity, like you said, otherwise you just don’t have any time to pursue your true goals. Having your own business and a steady stream of income is a norm, not an exception or an accoplishment.
I am really dissatisfied with my current position, not because I found that money does not bring me any joy, but that rather I should have been where I am 2 or 3 years ago and that I am really. Do you know Yanik Silver? He is a Russian too, he is younger than me and the fucking prick is a millionaire. I just have my house paid off and still have probably 4 years to go to hit the 1 million dollar mark. That’s my problem, Steve. Do you think you can help with that?
April 1st, 2005 at 10:59 am
Bugiman, this all makes perfect sense to me. What I’m about to say is all my opinion of course, so you may or may not find it helpful.
I think you will find nothing but frustration and heartache trying to compare yourself with others and compete with them. To the degree you continue to do that, you’re still stuck in the trap of measuring yourself by other people’s goals. But I don’t think comparing yourself with others is the real problem — that’s just a symptom of something deeper.
You don’t see generating a passive income as much of an accomplishment; others have supposedly gone farther in less time. I’ll bet it’s especially frustrating for you to see people who seem less intelligent or skilled than you who seem to get ahead much farther and faster, such as Yanik Silver.
I can relate to this because years ago I had similar feelings. It was frustrating. But I was able to dump that emotional garbage after it lead me to understand that the reason I wasn’t getting those results too was that deep down, I didn’t actually want them. I didn’t want the results of Yanik Silver. I didn’t want to devote my life to selling video games. I didn’t want to create shallow info products and sell many copies of them just to be “rich and successful.” I didn’t want to become a millionaire if it meant I had to compromise my values to do so. It was really strange, but I had to admit to myself that I really just didn’t care all that much about money. I was conditioned to think that I should be working to maximize profits, but eventually I discovered that this type of thinking just wasn’t me.
But nor did I want to live a life of abject poverty and go live in a cave. What I really wanted was to devote my life to learning and growing and sharing ideas with others. That was too big a leap for me to take all at once. Eventually though, I was able to change everything and let go of the socially conditioned quest for cash and instead start really living. Right now I’m doing the same thing I’d be doing if I was a millionaire or a billionaire or dead broke: learning and growing and sharing ideas. Money can only alter the context, not the purpose.
Money, a house, a car — what is it really? It’s all just dust. What does it matter to become a millionaire, a billionaire, or be broke? If you live in a state of fear and scarcity, those things really matter. But there comes a point where you can get past fear. Money still plays a role, but it’s a very minor one.
Ask yourself what you would do if you had unlimited cash right now. Then find a way to start doing that now, instead of waiting until you have a stockpile of cash or trying to play catch-up with others. You’ll never catch them — that’s the whole point. You’re not supposed to catch them; you’re supposed to realize the futility of trying to work for money instead of going straight towards what you think that money will get you.
Find a way to bring what you really want into your life right now, even if it’s in just a small way. Pursuing money and success as ends in themselves will only increase your frustration.
April 1st, 2005 at 11:41 am
Well, Steve, say you were born in a family of some Itailan mafia don in NY. Or better yet in a high ranking family of Republicans (say, the Bush family). Would it make you better? No? But you would probably get a better sense of reality. I mean come on, you’d never be part of “people”. “People” voted for Bush, “people” think that US is bringing peace to Iraq and people believe that America is the greates demotracy in the world and all that nonsense (you can probably see that I read too much Noam Chomsky while in Davis, I think I misspelled his last name.) Let’s say a few of us have been priveleged enough to see what’s really going on in this world.
I don’t believe that my frustration is somehow is money related. Nor am I trying to measure myself to other people. I have my one sense of reality and it’s Robert Anton Wilson and Gurdzhiev kind of reality. You said that you have “thank you e-mails” from indie developers. I am sure you’ll have even more thank you e-mails from this site. But here is a true test of reality - count how many developers actually made it - have established business and popular games. These are the only developers you really helped. The rest are just trying to be nice.
Think Dr. Atkins diet (I guess you are the wrong person to talk about Dr. Atkins diet, but just bear with me). It’s a fad - should we argee with that. There is ample evidence (if the New York Times did their homework correctly) that people who diet, dr. Atkins diet included, gain all the weight back. A vast majority of them (sorry, don’t have the number).
You probably understand that the reason why people try Atkin’s diet - to ease the sense of insecurity and whatever. Not cool to be fat. They do it, might even get some weight off, and they get a sense that they’ve accomplished something. It’s a psychology game with oneself, you understand, we all play these. It’s the same with this site - people will swear that you’ve helped them a great deal, but down the road, a few years later, they are likely to find themselves in the same shithole. Otherwise all Tony Robins attendees would become millionaire who fullfilled their dreams.
It’s the question of authenticity and that’s what I am struggling with.
Your question “Ask yourself what you would do if you had unlimited cash right now” is too pop-psychology and shallow.
The joy comes from walking the road and achieving the goal. If I am hungry and want, say, Chinese food, you could ask me “Imagine you just ate Kung Pao Chicken and egg roll, than had some chicken dumpings with soy sause -what’s your next step”. But if I never had any Chinese food, I’d never know what these things were. Money is worthless, but you do learn a whole lot, while earning them and making decisions what to do with them. how you spend your money is probably more important than how you earned it. It’s pretty stupid to take financial advice from a person who did not manage to earn at least a million bucks, but I am all ears when it comes to Dan Kennedy, Jay Abraham, Gary Halbert or John Carlton. That’s kind of the point - I really do want to be like these guys in a sense that they are authentic. I would not want to become Ron LeGrand or other fake guru in anything. And as long as I underachieve, I am a fake, even thought I do make a nice living online, have a house paid off and am pretty well educated.
I sure would love to read some of your better original content beyond what your write for “people” in order to give free content out. Some times I catch myself that your approach is kind of like what pastors do to get people involved in “mega churches” - the revival circus.
April 1st, 2005 at 11:41 am
Steve, good post but that prescription ain’t working for him. Some things that we want we can get ONLY by being successful and making lots of money. There isn’t any other way.
For example, what if you just had a baby and you want to devote your full time to your new member of the family . I can see that as one of THE most important things a man can do in a life. Without money you can’t do that in the extent that you would want. You have to pursue making of the money to get to the where you want to be. Yes, you will start devoting your time right now, but you will still have to make money. You will also feel that you are not doing enough and that you should be doing doing more but you can’t because prerequisite of money is missing. And the more and faster you can make it the better. Flip-side is that these two things are opposite yet complimentary.
It is not the money that you want, you want what money allows you to do, or allows you to do *more/better*. I don’t know is this example comparable to the problem Bugiman has, but my experience is that people do not want the money, they want what comes with money. And in lot of the cases there is NO way around the money issue, you have to make it…
My feeling on that is, yes you have to start doing what you really want NOW. Yes, you have to make money and lots of it *if and only if* that is required to achieve what you want. And, yes you have to pursue everything with the passion. You do not want to lay on the death bed thinking: “How did I spend my life pursuing the things that are really not important to me? And the things that were important I did half-assed :-)”
Identifying what you want is the first thing you do. Then you figure out how to get it. If HOW requires lots of money, then you got to make it, quickly… How you make it is the $1MM question for you Steve
April 1st, 2005 at 12:48 pm
If what you want is money and success measured by external factors while still feeling miserable or frustrated and filling your life with “have tos” along the way, then I’m sure you can find plenty of books and seminars and web sites on that subject.
I can’t teach people how to do that though. I simply don’t believe in it.
My son is 1.5 years old and my daughter is 5. I played with both of them for an hour yesterday. No one billed us for it.
April 1st, 2005 at 2:20 pm
You think it’s you that lives - but it’s God living His life through you. So when you do things out of love for others you touch the real you - GOD - and money only prostitutes that joy.
You’re struggling with who you think you are and who you really are.
He who seeks WILL FIND.
Gal 2:20
April 2nd, 2005 at 11:43 am
you do currently exist within the service-to-self (STS) matrix. part of the reality here is that one must eat to survive. my thoughts on this are of balance… give freely to those who ask, charge the rest.
i’ve seen this with some freeware authors; they give out a product for free, and they have some “customers” who go out of their way to try and pay them some money for their free service/product. so it could be for you.
April 2nd, 2005 at 12:09 pm
Luke 12
22And He said to His disciples, “(W)For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.
23″For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
24″Consider the (X)ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor (Y)barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!
25″And which of you by worrying can add a single [a](Z)hour to his [b]life’s span?
April 2nd, 2005 at 4:56 pm
Steve,
I haven’t read very much of your site(s) yet, but you seem to have a fantastic grasp of this earth’s reality. My only suggestion to you, if you’re really interested in finding out your purpose, is for you to pick up the book, “The Purpose-Driven Life” by Rick Warren and investigate the angle of eternal reality. I think it will be very satisfying to your soul.