Cycles of Life
March 15th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina
Email this article to a friend
A reader suggested I write about this topic: Explore the tension between being satisfied with what you have and your accomplishments vs. the desire to do better.
Being too complacent would yield suboptimal results because you’re drifting and not getting close to your true potential. But push too hard, and you may never enjoy what you have and may burn yourself out. So it would seem the optimal solution lies somewhere in the middle between the extremes.
On the one hand, you have complacency. Think of this in positive terms as enjoying what you have and being at peace with your current situation.
And on the other hand, we have ambition and effort, the desire to keep moving and to improve yourself.
The perceived conflict comes about as a choice between here and there. Stay put or move on. Which is better?
Is a perpetual balance between these two extremes the right answer? Like 50% complacency and 50% ambition?
Let’s try a perspective shift … one that eliminates the problem entirely.
This problem arises from the assumption of a static view of life — that every moment is the same as every other, that if being ambitious is the right choice now, it will still be the right choice tomorrow.
Life isn’t static though. When you take a snaphot “here is where I am now” view of your life, you reinforce a flawed view of reality. Life is always in motion. Look at the cells in your body. If they ever go into a static state and stop moving, you’re dead. They’re doing different things at different times. Sometimes your body must shut down to fight illness; other times it’s happy to move around and get some exercise. There’s no single right thing for your cells to be doing at all times. Movement and change are integral to life itself.
In life there’s no status quo. Think about the momentum of different areas of your life right now. What’s expanding? What’s contracting? Instead of thinking of complacency vs. ambition as some percentage mixture in the present, think of long-term cycles of expansion vs. contraction. Cycles of ebb and flow are a natural part of life.
Notice what type of cycle you’re in right now. If you’re in an expansion cycle, then push your ambition as far as it will take you, and forget about complacency. If you’re in a contraction cycle, then take a break from ambition and spend time on your inward development.
Sometimes these cycles last for years. From about mid-2004 onward, I’ve been in a massive expansion phase — trying new things, meeting new people, starting a new business. Before that I was in a contraction phase for many months, thinking and contemplating, doing lots of reading, turning inward, reassessing my priorities. There are even cycles within cycles, like periods of short-term contraction during a long-term expansion period. It’s like the stock market. You have long-term bull and bear markets and short-term bull and bear days and weeks. At the time of this posting, it appears we’re having some bear days in an otherwise bull market. Cycles within cycles.
So just as a stock investor needs to know when to buy and sell, you must listen to the signals from your own life (both internal and external) to learn when it’s time to expand or contract. Every day is different. Sometimes buying/expansion is right, and other times selling/contraction is right. You don’t balance the two. You cycle between them.
One of my favorite treatments of this subject can be found in the Bible in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. The whole book of Ecclesiastes is an interesting story about a man searching for the ultimate source of joy in life, eventually succeeding by identifying it as the fulfillment that comes from hard work.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
Life is constantly cycling through expansion and contraction phases.
Sometimes we’re able to go out and do no wrong. Other times we run home licking our wounds. By recognizing what kind of cycle you’re in, you can flow with it instead of fighting it. In a contraction phase, this means spending a lot of time thinking and journaling, reading, working on personal development to build your skills, going to school, spending lots of time with family. In an expansion phase, it means taking on some ambitious projects and stretching yourself, joining new clubs, meeting new people, taking on new responsibilities, enjoying new experiences.
What happens in your life when your decisions are out of phase with your current cycle? What happens to a stock investor whose decisions are out of phase with the market?
Problems also occur when we get stuck in one phase for too long. A prolonged contraction phase can lead to depression (both in the stock market and in your personal life). A prolonged expansion phase can build stress and anxiety. Life requires cycles of exertion and rest — that’s what makes us stronger.
What is your life calling for right now? Should you be contracting or expanding? Is this the time to reinvent yourself in private or express yourself in public?
March 15th, 2005 at 11:22 pm
As usually tremendous article Steve. Thanks a lot.
I am hard working last months like never before. Timeboxing, using every minute of my life better and better. Better but not effectively in my opinion. The more I learn, the more I see I have to learn. I am study type of person, so I am always interested in many aspects of life.
In my mind is this question nowadays. Is it good to be well-rounded in many professions, to try to excel in everything I do and invest 1000 hours to every shortcoming I spot? Hmm, I think the life is too short to accomplish that succesfuly. To learn quite many businesses. I agree about the 1000 hours quote in general. But, try to count how many things you can accomplish in your life with this constant. Let’s assume that we are able to invest 5 hours a day to a new activity. It would take 200 days of hard work to be good at it. With the maximum effort, you’ll be able to cover 90-110 activities in your life. But in reality you can’t invest so much time per day to your new joys. So the list is much shorter.
I am now in the phase of my life when I evaluate where to concentrate my energy. I am able to learn anything (as opposed to many friends and ppl around me, that are still whining something is too hard for them, or they are not able to achieve it, i know it’s only the state of mind, so i am able to achieve anything, i know it) and I am really interested in many things with the same interest if I want to (I don’t mind if it’s mathematic or biology or literature, sport or meditation, I like all of these). I am also able to concentrate to very narrow field and to excel in it, but it assumes that the well-roundedness will be not pursued, which I am not satisfied with.
The time is short. What’s your opinion Steve on finding your real strengthes and escalate in them (as is described in “Now Discover Your Strengths” book for example) as opposed to investing the time to your shortcomings, to invest 1000 hours as you suggest? I like both methods, the first is making me easy flowing, because working on my strong points. But the second method is more motivational for me. I like to do the hard things and to stretch my mind or my body with never experienced thoughts and feelings before. I fully realise that the tackling with the problems is making us stronger. The difficulties are here to be our silent teachers of life.
But in reality, you can still learn and try many new things, because the more you try, the more you see you lack behind.
I can’t buy enough time for me. So what’s the most effective way of spending my hard work with?
I am really greatful for your articles Steve and don’t take my question too seriously if you don’t want to. You are helping me quite much with your everyday wrtitings, there’s always something new I can implement to my big picture. Thanks once more.
March 16th, 2005 at 5:35 am
What you need is a context for making these decisions. The only context life will provide you by itself is the context of human need, which is mostly about survival. But this isn’t a very helpful context in deciding where to invest your time developing your skills.
So you need to create your own context for making these types of decisions. The context that works for me is the context of purpose. Define a purpose for yourself, and it cuts through all the clutter. That becomes the focal point for making the biggest decisions.
Should you work on strengths or weaknesses? Which is more important to your purpose? If communication skills were once a weakness for me, I have to make them into a strength because it’s crucial to my purpose. I also need a lot of daily energy, so I must take care of my health. But learning to play the piano doesn’t matter to my purpose.
I don’t make the decision in terms of working on strengths or weaknesses. I base it on what’s most important to my purpose; sometimes that means building a strength, and other times it means correcting a weakness. As stated previously, my purpose is to live consciously and courageously and to wake people up to start living as the great spirits they truly are instead of what they’ve been socially conditioned to be. That purpose is so important to me that if necessary, I would die for it.
Not every action in your life must be purpose driven, but a purpose makes it easy to tackle the big decisions. When you use your gift of free will to decide, “This is what my life is going to mean,” you’ve made the biggest decision of all. Everything else flows from there.
Without a purpose or an overall meaning for your life, I don’t see how you can clearly make those decisions about where to focus your energy. One choice is as good as any other. It’s like asking what color is your favorite — it doesn’t really matter what you pick. In order to make this choice intelligently and consistently, you need a life-size context for it.
March 17th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
Hi Steve,
Thanks for you insights.
A “perspective shift” is often a good way to answer seemingly impossible questions.
Some quotes that come to mind:
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
- Albert Einstein
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.
- Thomas Edison
Cheers,
Peter.
March 18th, 2005 at 11:16 pm
Really great article Steve…..this was my first read on your blog….really impressed way you think of life
March 20th, 2005 at 12:11 am
Interesting one.
March 28th, 2005 at 9:54 am
Hi Steve,
Thanks for your informative articles. I’ve been reading personal productivity books all my life and haven’t yet seen such good perspectives on things. Like this articles which I think is very close to what happens with me. I would like to ask a question though. You mention that if you stay long enough in the contraction phase it can lead to depression. That is something I can relate to. But can you suggest ways to get out of this cycle when it starts becoming harmful?
April 5th, 2005 at 5:48 am
This is an interesting article. I especiallly like your references to contraction as an introverted experience and expansion as more extroverted. I also like your references to the financial markets. In fact it is from this angle that I’d like to approach you. From the reverse angle, it appears that, according to many analysts on “the street” (myself included), the financial authorities in the UK and the USA are trying hard to “Manage the Business Cycle” to a “long period of stability”. In other words, by their premptive interest rate policy they seem to be trying to smooth out the natural ebb and flow that we are accustomed to seeing in financial cycles. I feel the relationship between long wave human pschological cycles and financial cycles is not a coincidence. Consequently, what the Fed and BoE are doing is potentially hazardous. I think by creating long periods of “stability” we are losing the attention/awareness to complacency that we get naturally fromm existing in a cyclical or “moving” environment. I would like your comments on this if at all possible.
Many thanks - nice piece.
April 5th, 2005 at 6:46 am
I have mixed feelings on trying to flatten out the ebb and flow of financial markets. We do this kind of flattening everywhere, like using air conditioners and heaters in our home to normalize the temperature.
Normalization makes life more comfortable in the short term, but I think it also makes us less resilient. For example, if I spend a lot of time exercising outdoors, the natural weather variations don’t bother me much. I’m perfectly fine running in the pouring rain. But when I exercise indoors for extended periods, I feel extra sensitive if the outdoor conditions aren’t just right.
Big variations in life (high highs, low lows) cause us to adapt. We become more flexible and able to handle more adversity. The people in my life who have very steady, stable lives are often very weak in their ability to adapt. Events that I’d see as “no big whoop” like the loss of a job will throw them completely off balance for weeks or months. They begin to fear change as a threat.