The Best Valentine’s Day Gift
February 14th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina
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Happy Valentine’s Day!
Today I gave my wife a Valentine’s Day gift she loved.
It’s called “Servant for a Weekend.” Feb 19-20 I’ll be her servant all weekend long, meaning that the whole weekend, my time is at her disposal (so don’t expect any new blog entries then). Of course she has to give me time to eat and sleep, but otherwise my time is all hers to decide.
I gave her a similar gift a few years ago. In that case it was Servant for a Day, and it was done on the same day I gave her the gift, so she didn’t have as much time to plan. She kept me busy with various tasks, including periodic foot massages, caring for our daughter, preparing her meals, cleaning and household chores, and even baking a cake. In a strange way it was almost like a vacation for me, since I didn’t have to think or plan my day for a change.
But this time she has a week to plan and two whole days to “spend.” I’m sure she’s already contacting people to get suggestions and ideas. Her face keeps lighting up whenever she thinks of something new. Feel free to send her one of your own if you think of something creative. Perhaps I’ll make a blog entry next week about how it went.
It’s hard to imagine any woman (or man) who wouldn’t enjoy receiving this kind of gift from their significant other. To me it’s a more meaningful way to say “I love you” than giving material objects. It doesn’t cost money, but it isn’t “free,” nor is it a cop-out (as long as you pick a date in advance and don’t just give an IOU). It creates a fun memory, and it’s a creative way to get to know your significant other better. I’d love to receive this gift from her someday, but I think she’s afraid to try it, and justifiably so. Martians and Venutians tend to think differently about such matters. 
This gift isn’t copyrighted or trademarked, so feel free to give it to your own SO today if you’re brave enough.
Love ya, Erin! Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2005 at 10:11 am
Feel free NOT to post my comment.
Man, I really hope your relationship is a balanced one. This post is plain.. weird. I would never do that.
There were times in my life and my relationship when I did behave like that, but the result was very bad. I was taken advantage of.
In my opinion, a real man is one who takes initiative and makes her (and himself) feel good, without following her every wish and whim.
February 14th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
MX, I think that it is your comment that is weird and not the Steve’s post. Think about it — you try to do this and you are taken advantage of — is it hard to figure out whose relationship is not balanced one?
Steve, I think it is a great idea and a great post. Keep up the spirit with which you are spreading all these great ideas on this weblog.
February 14th, 2005 at 3:49 pm
I keep my relationship balanced by standing up for myself. I am nice, but I’m also tough when the situation requires this.
However, in my opinion being a servant for a week is NOT a good thing to do in a relationship.
Many people are extra-nice hoping that the SO will someday be nice to them. I mean, if I’m very nice to you, you’ll be very nice to me, right?
Unfortunately love relationships most of the time don’t work this way. I am not sure why.
February 14th, 2005 at 5:11 pm
I think you misunderstood the idea, MX. It’s only for a weekend, not a week. It’s simply a gift. I don’t expect anything in return. Your usage of the words “nice” vs. “tough” doesn’t make sense to me. This isn’t a competition or a power struggle or a behavioral conditioning experiment. My wife and I have been together 11 years now (married 7 years).
February 15th, 2005 at 5:42 am
I thought it was for a week.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
I would never do this for a week because in my opinion it would be harmful for my relationship and degrading for me.
I also behave extra-nice in my relationship from time to time for a day, because I lover. But I never tell her “I will be your servant for a day” because in my opinion it’s degrading.
February 15th, 2005 at 11:59 am
A week would probably be difficult without taking vacation. Also a bit excessive, methinks. A weekend’s probably the max. Good idea, though.
Martians and Venutians tend to think differently about such matters.
I…couldn’t have said it any better myself.