The hate and the deeds were ignored or excused. It was less than nothing to those nestled safely elsewhere. Worse yet were the ones who defended the madness, who embraced it and called it patriotic, right, and necessary.

Thanks for writing back. I like your paradox that you pose…if you did not have goals, the site might not exist, and hence my comments would not appear. Maybe. Maybe the site would have existed without goals…or at least traditional goals.

For me there are a couple of key points. 1) many people are goalaholics. That is they abuse goals. Just like an alcoholic abuses alcohol. The right kind of alcohol (a nice red wine, for example) can be quite good for you. But the wrong kind (shots of tequila maybe?) or too much of any kind of alcohol, and you have a problem. Goals are the same. 2) there are healthy goals and unhealthy (traditional) goals. Most people have an unhealthy relationship to goals. The whole concept of SMART goals runs completely counter to the way I live my life. Specific, measurable, achievable?? Not me. I go for vague, bold, and audacious. A direction, but not a specific outcome or destination. I create many paths. I view this as a Darwinian approach to living life. Lots of different things going on…the good ones survive. But there are no traditional goals, plans, or anything like that in the process. Very experiential.

“Goal-free” living seems like a semantic difference to me. IMO most of what you mentioned would be considered setting and achieving goals. To have greater peripheral vision, to more fully embrace experiential living, to live a more passionate life, to connect with people, to have more courage… all of these things you mentioned above… how are these not goals you’ve achieved? You wanted them. You got ‘em. That’s the very essence of setting and achieving goals.

I think what you’re really referring to is the broken process by which most people set and achieve goals. Instead of miserably striving to achieve what lies dimly in the distance and bemoaning the path, it’s far better to enjoy the journey and live in the present without becoming obsessed and losing perspective. What could be harmful about setting and achieving goals if you love the journey? What’s harmful isn’t the intention behind the goal — the harmful part is becoming overly attached to a specific outcome. It’s not the nature of setting goals that creates stress; it’s the attachment to a specific outcome and failing to remain open to the magic of the present moment.

So I think this is a mere semantic difference because your definition of a goal seems to focus on the attachment, whereas I focus on goals as intentions (without the necessity of attachment). Attachment creates stress. But intention without attachment grants focus and clarity. Deepak Chopra does an excellent job of explaining the difference between attachment and intention in his wonderful book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Marc Allen also does a brilliant job of covering this subject in The Millionaire Course; he explains how to set goals as intentions and remain open to all possibilities without becoming fixated and stressed out.

Personally, I absolutely love the process of setting and achieving goals. It’s a lot of fun, something I deeply enjoy. My goals don’t create negative stress; instead they create eustress, helping to fill my days with energy and passion.

It’s ironic that if I wasn’t actively setting and achieving big goals, this site wouldn’t even exist; therefore, neither would your thought-provoking comment about goal-free living.

Most people who talk about success automatically assume that goal-setting is the answer. Unfortunately, many people are goalaholics…and aren’t happy with their lives. By loosen the grip that goals have on your life, allowing for greater “peripheral vision”, and engaging in more “experiential living”, people can have truly passionate lives without hard work.

I have done this throughout my career. I am incredibly successful AND love my life. And it has all come easily…without goals. People think I am lucky. I say it is because I try many new things, I play full out in the areas I love most, I make connections with lots of people, and I have the courage to change direction frequently. This “Goal-Free Living” approach is not for everyone…but relaxing the stranglehold of goals even slightly can have a huge impact on your life.

This is essentially what the AdSense TOS agreement says about revealing your results (at least the current version I signed when joining). Perhaps in the past they were OK with people to sharing stats, but not anymore.

Anyway, short reaction to comment number 6: read “the now habit” by Neil Fiori. Excellent resource for self-disgusted procrastinators, if only because it shows you the mechanisms in place behind your procrastinatic behaviour.

Reinout

I’d suggest reading that book (cheap paperbacks available) as it shows shows you the mechanisms *behind* the procrastinating behaviour. Recognising what’s really going on might be just the thing you need.

While we’re doing the percentage-thingy over here: I’d guestimate a 30% chance of you managing to give yourself a big push forward by reading this book. And a 90% chance of at least getting two or three nice tips out of it; those tips ‘ll pay for the book within a month.

Regards,

Reinout

I feel so bad about it I’m too embarrassed to give you my name.

Then during college I had a second job, at a large software company. I was writing C++ / Win16 and Win32 API software.

During that time I also created my first web site, containing my resume and some articles on Windows API. This has proved to be the step that got me into entrepreneurship.

I wanted to be an entrepreneur since high school, but after posting my web site, this finally became possible. Someone in Canada (remember I live in an East Europe country) contacted me. He wanted me to write some software for him.

I did.. and then other clients came, attracted by my web site. In about 2-3 years I have employed 2 other guys. I had clients in Germany, Belgium and USA.

Then 7/11 came in the US. A really tragic event for all civilized people.

All my clients were scared. For some reason they didn’t want to outsource anymore. I guess they were scared and didn’t want to invest.

I had gotten to the point where very little money was in the bank, and I was very depressed because I knew that in a few months I won’t be able to make payroll.

So.. during this critical period, I made the jump to being an ISV. It’s much better now as an ISV - we make a lot, and don’t depend on large clients. We depend on many sales that happen every day.

I have followed a similar path. I had jobs, then became an independent contractor, and now I have my own software business. I think it is the most frightening and exciting thing I have ever done. I will do everything in my power to remain independent.