Let’s start at the beginning.

I was as lost as anyone on this subject, searching for purpose in my existance. And I mean, heavily searching. As in the kind of search for answers to keep you a participant in this world.

So one day about two months ago, I was thinking about conciousness and the soul. As in exactly what makes my conciousness me. I got to thinking about who I would be if I were cloned. Which body I would be in. The original at first but maybe the second if suddently the original died, say in it’s sleep. I would wake up in the second. I got to thinking, that if the thing that makes this person me is the pattern of processing in my brain, then copying that pattern is copying me. I would then be inside two bodies at once with some hidden tanglement connecting the two as one. If not, then the pattern is NOT what makes this person me.

Hmm, let’s go a little deeper. Since, I find myself in existance now, it is a hard “self-proovable” fact, that I do exist. The world around me may not exist as I perceive it. But I exists none the less.

What would happen IF there was no God and religion was just made up? Let’s think about that. Well, let’s see, first, I exist anyway. So when this body dies, so will the processing that makes it me. Hmm. Then what? Well, since time is infinite, and the atoms of this universe did happen to make me in existance once… It could happen again. And again. And again!

Oh dear, that kind of exposes a problem. What shall I do about this problem of hopping into existance over and over till…. the end of time… which, is NEVER???

Hmm, I think, I’ll need a safe place to spend my awake moments. If I’m lucky, I’ll land into an existance that will be enjoyable to be in. Unlucky might land me in a ground excavation machine, stuck in a mountain for a very long time with nothing but myself and my limited memories. Hmm, I wonder, if there are any entities out there that are already smart enough to have thought of this problem? Perhaps one that would care about us “lost souls” and that would create a safe place specifically for “holding” souls in say, a paradise of some sort. Hmm, that sounds a lot like GOD.

Maybe, there is something to religion, after all.

Long story short… I personally don’t think God created people specifically. He created a creating ground that would allow us lucky souls to come into his existance. Once here, it is our responsiblity to seek the safety that he has provided.

And in that, you can find, the grand purpose for your life, and everyone around you.

I discovered my purpose in life in quite another way - yet I think it might be possible to find it using your method if a person was really honest and prepared to allow his creator to speak to him.

OUr creator is keen that we discover it so he wrote it down and if we are prepared to take the journey he will also reveal it tous spiritually. In general terms it is to be Know the Son of God and to seek to imitate him.

So, I was reading some other article by Steve today and found my way back to this one. After reading the article again, I still couldn’t imagine this working. I then started reading the comments and decided to follow trackback #4 as Steve suggested. whoisnick.com ’s purpose turned on some lightbulb and BAM! I was balling. I’ve found my purpose and it make sense. I think the people having trouble are taking the wrong approach. Your purpose is not something you do, it’s the reason you do things. One person’s purpose may sound like a goal to someone else and that is part of the reason why this is difficult.

In case you were wondering, my purpose is, “To be at home to raise my daughter.”

Can your purpose change from time to time, or is it supposed to be constant throughout your whole life? I used to have a deep burning desire for doing meaningful work at a meaningful employer, but that aspect in my life just doesn’t matter that much anymore. I’m in my mid-20’s and right now the only thing that really gets me excited and ready to jump out of bed every morning is passionate romantic love, or the anticipation/challenge of trying to find it. And I should also mention that this purpose doesn’t even involve one particular woman, but it’s more like this ideal I have about sewing my wild oats.

So I’m not sure if having this as my purpose is just doing what you said not to do - letting my motivation exist outside of me and not within me. However, personally, I don’t think this is being outer-motivateed or attached to one particular event in space/time. But instead I am internally motivated by just the idea of romantic love. Just as a person who has a purpose involving “service” isn’t attached to particular outcomes or results of one instance he helps another, but is internally motivated by the whole idea of serving others. I don’t know.

I came up with some more general purposes and some others that probably sound more noble than just romance and sex. But honestly, these other more general/noble purposes just don’t move me as much as the thought of living a life full of romantic love.

As an example, in the past, I was deeply motivated by career accomplishment and working at these high-profile companies. I never stayed in a particular job longer than 1 year and I kept moving up and up the proverbial corporate ladder looking for the next challenge. And every job I had was the result of self-motivated self-education that I willingly did myself on my own free time and paid for with my own money. So even though that purpose wasn’t necessarily all that general or noble, and doesn’t really motivate me all that much today, I still think I was able to accomplish a lot while I had that particular purpose involving personal career advancement.

So I guess my question is should I just follow whatever current purpose that really seems to motivate me at this point in my life? Or am I selling myself short by not discovering a more universal or noble purpose? Or will the more noble life purposes, such as service and compassion, come to me later when I’m older and have more life experience?

Because one of my biggest fears right now is trying to help others and ending up making things even worse. Kind of like as if I was some pointy-haired manager who “inflicts” leadership and compassion on other people who don’t even need it.

For example, I’m often inspired by music, and what’s most inspiring is that which evokes the feelings in me that reasonate with my purpose: being courageous, being awake and alive, being at peace, etc.

Just relax and focus on the intention to allow the answer to come to you. Again, this is a process of emptying yourself more than of trying to find the right answer.

I tried this exercise for 5 times. I guess I am the one of those who is really stubborn. I did cry, but it was not the answer that made my cry. During this exercise I was listening to online radio. There was one particular melody that touched me so deeply. Just to be sure I tried this exercise one more time without any music. Nothing… Then I tried to listen to the same melody again and think about my true purpose… This time it was even more powerful. It made me cry again. Is this the answer? How to interpret it?

Also, I think some people, myself included would be perfectly happy doing nothing. Well, not really “nothing”, but not doing any one thing and pursuing whatever interests you have at the time (traveling, cooking, studying, etc.). When I imagine a life of no work, I don’t see one of laying in front of the TV 24 hours per day, but one where I’m free to do whatever I please, whenever I please. Unfortunately, I’ve got to work hard to get to that point where I can be lazy.

Fortunately, I can use a skill that I love to use to try to get there and if I’m lucky, find some free time to pursue my other interests. That’s about as good of a medium I can find.

For example, I once tried to learn to play the piano. I found it really tedious and boring — and especially awkward as a left-hander. So I gave up within a matter of weeks. But there are those like my wife who learned to play beautifully. For me there wasn’t a strong enough “why” to learn to play music, but many others who do learn to play have a stronger reason to push through the tedium.

If you’re living on purpose, your capacity for putting up with failure, rejection, tedium, etc. will increase dramatically because you’ll have a very strong and compelling reason for pushing through. But without a compelling purpose, it will take a lot less of these obstacles to stop you in your tracks.

As a programmer for example, I’m sure you’re familiar with it. While making games is fun, sitting down and figuring how to design an file access module that is cros-splatform is NOT fun (for most people). Not saying this applies to you per se, but it’s an example of something people in one career may reasonably be expected to encounter which is extremely boring, regardless of whether they like their career as a whole.

But I think a moment of transformation comes for those who get through this. All pre med majors know of the guys who couldn’t get through Biology or Organic chemistry and so had to drop. All compsci people know of guys who couldn’t handle the Math or C++ course and so had to drop. Rarely I think this is because these people aren’t smart enough to figure it out, but more often it’s because they aren’t willing to do what it takes to take their learning up a steep plateau to the next level.

Now the learning and tedium thing aren’t exactly aligned, but they are close. When learning a big new subject area, there’s often a tediousness that’s involved before you reach the point where you’re effective. Some people know how to handle this and others don’t. I think know how to maintain the drive to keep at it is also important (something I believe Steve discusses in one of his dexterity.com articles)

Your question is a common one, but it’s sort of backwards, which is why I don’t think you’ll be able to find a satisfactory answer. Your question contains the hidden assumption that jobs or careers are the enablers of an extraordinary life. I think that’s a false assumption.

For me it’s more of the opposite. If I wanted to live an extraordinary life, I’d forget about career or jobs for a minute. I’d just take a moment to define to myself what it means for me to do that. What is extraordinary? What does that word entail?

For example, if I were to define this for myself, an extraordinary life would mean a life of extraordinary service. So then I’d look at my talents and skills and desires and ask myself where I could best achieve that. Out of that line of questioning would pop out the job/career that’s right for me.

While I did not do this exercise yet I did come up with a life purpose several months ago. I came up with:

“Live an extraordinary life”

My problem is that I don’t know how to do that. I have a lot of problems dealing with work. I don’t know if it is that I am unhappy with what I do or just working in a big corporate environment. I find the corporate world too limiting on what an individual can accomplish. I have considered moving into sales, construction and/or owning my own business as a possible alternative. I don’t know why but these seem like options to give a person the environment to ‘live’.

Do you or anyone else have any resources on how to find good jobs and careers that enable you to live an extraordinary life?