The Value of Confidence
November 18th, 2004 by Steve Pavlina
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Last night I gave a speech called “The Value of Confidence,” which was about how to mentally put yourself into a state of confidence, feeling certain of success even when your knowledge suggests you should expect to fail. Delivering a speech like this puts an extra burden on the speaker, since it must be done with absolute confidence and certainty — otherwise the audience will easily detect the incongruency.
Even if you’re extremely skilled and talented, a lack of self-confidence can prevent you from performing at your best in pressure situations. For example, if you work in sales, it’s one thing to read a book and learn and understand some new sales techniques, but it’s a very different challenge to actually go out and apply those techniques when face-to-face with a prospect. The major limiting factor often isn’t a lack of knowledge or practice but rather the limiting belief that you can’t expect to perform well the first few times — a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Public speaking is a great example. Many people have the knowledge and skill to write a speech that an audience would enjoy, and when practiced in private, they may even do a decent job. But put them in front of an audience — or even just suggest the idea — and they quickly succumb to feelings of self-doubt and worry. However, if you take such people to a stage hypnosis show and they’re hypnotized, they’ll get up on state and perform wonderfully with no fear at all, even with no rehearsal or prepared material. Being under hypnosis doesn’t magically bestow any new skills, but it can put people into a state where they have full and unrestricted access to their best internal resources. What new endeavors might you be able to take on if you were hypnotized to belief with absolute certainty that you would succeed at them?
You may currently believe that confidence is the result of a history of success. While a history of success can certainly increase your confidence, you don’t actually need that history to feel confident. Confidence is a feeling of certainty, a natural inner resource that can be summoned whenever you want it.
The key to feeling confident lies in a quote from Albert Einstein: “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.” Even when your knowledge tells you to expect failure, you have the ability to consciously direct your imagination to override that impulse and feel certain of success anyway. Most people let their imaginations run on autopilot, so they sometimes see themselves succeeding but they also worry about failure. This is like trying to drive a car by pushing the accelerator and the brake at the same time. To feel confident you must focus your mind to see only one outcome, the one of you performing at your very best. If you catch yourself worrying (aka mentally rehearsing failure), you need to immediately take your foot off that brake and focus on the accelerator. No matter how many times you catch yourself worrying or contemplating failure, just keep refocusing your mind on the image of success.
In order to avoid the problem of overconfidence, let your decision to condition a state of confidence be subservient to your logic, reason, and common sense. If you feel confident that you will perform well on a big new project and use this as an excuse to under-prepare, that’s a mistaken application of confidence. But there are times when you’ve done all you can intellectually, and now you need to get yourself into the most emotionally resourceful state possible. Whenever you have to perform under pressure is a good time to put yourself into a state of confidence: a speech, a sales call, an audition, an interview, an exam, etc.
So on the one hand, be careful not to over-rely on confidence to save you by using it as an excuse to procrastinate on prepartion. But on the other hand, it’s amazing just how far confidence alone can get you. When I was going through college, I often didn’t have as much time to prepare for exams as I would have liked. But I was really good at putting myself into a state of certainty of success right before the exam, regardless of how well-prepared I felt intellectually. And this state of confidence was often enough to allow me to perform well, even when I had barely studied the material. Because I expected to do well (via my imagination, not my knowledge), my subconscious mind found a way to fulfill that vision. Often this came in the form of creative solutions. For example, if I took a math test and didn’t remember the formula that was intended to be used to solve a particular problem, my subconscious mind would find an alternate way to solve the problem using what I did know — because I was in a state of total certainty of success, I had the fullest possible access to all my internal resources, including the ability to solve problems in ways I wasn’t consciously aware of.
Confidence is not a panacea. But being able to make yourself feel certain of success can give you a massive edge in many endeavors. Confidence is often the deciding factor in making a sale, closing a deal, acing a test, nailing an audition, getting a date, being hired or promoted, or making the team. And a lack of confidence can put you into the decrepit state where even though you have the intellectual resources to succeed, you don’t even make the attempt — you fail to ask for the sale, the raise, the date, etc. Sometimes just summoning the confidence to ask is all it takes to achieve a successful result.
What more could you accomplish if you added the tool of confidence to your arsenal of skills, consciously directing your imagination away from visualizing negative outcomes and 100% on creating a feeling of certainty of success?
P.S. My pre-ordered copy of Halo 2 was delivered earlier today. See you in a few days. 
November 18th, 2004 at 9:22 pm
Well said Steve. I think confidence in myself is one of my most important assets. The feeling that you can accomplish what you set your mind to is awesome. It can be very hard to change your mind when you are not confident of something though. I can speak french adequately, but not with any confidence in myself. So I refrain from doing so. I guess the realization is the first step in making the change. I know that I need to put in some more work here in order to get to where I want to be.
Do you plan out your Halo playing time as well? =)
November 18th, 2004 at 11:03 pm
Many self-improvement gurus and books claim that one can become confident just by changing one’s attitude, and that a history of success is not necessary.
I have belived this also, and I have worked hard using suggestions and self-hypnosis in order to become more confident in some areas of my life.
Here is what I found out by doing this:
Suggestions and self-hypnosis work well if you put in some effort. However, don’t expect them to do everything.
Confidence appears to be in fact 50% thinking, emotions and attitude, and 50% practicing in the area in which you are trying to build confidence.
Let’s say we rate confidence from 1 to 100, with 100 being the most confident. Let’s say that I start with a confidence of 1 in one area of my life.
If I put in some effort with self-hypnosis, self-administered RET therapy and reading books on the matter, then I may be able to get that confidence level to 30-40.
If I put in a lot of effort, then I may be able to get my confidence level to 60.
However, without practicing in that area of life, I could never get my confidence level above 60. The moment I started to practice in that area, my confidence started slowly increasing, and now it is at about 95.
Another conclusion that I have drawn from my experiments is that if I have very low confidence in one area, then I can’t usually improve it by practice alone.
Practice in an area in which I have very little confidence and skills leads to very bad results, which reenforces the poor confidence in that area.
So, in order to build confidence, you can’t just do it all in your mind. You have to:
- improve your attitude by self-sugestion and self-hypnosis, and really putting an effort into this
- improve your skills by reading, taking advice, etc.
- after your confidence and skills are about a certain mark, go out and practice
November 19th, 2004 at 8:15 am
As a counterpoint to x-force, I think we all know people who know virtually nothing about a topic and yet are completely confident in their abilities in that area. These people are pretty dangerous – they can suck you in and convince you that they actually competent, and then there are real problems when they can’t deliver.
I’m just saying that for some, confidence comes from building your skills, but that it’s not always necessary. (I wish it were the case, so we could get rid of charlatans, but it’s not.)
November 19th, 2004 at 8:22 am
Regarding comment #2….
While I would agree that performance results require physical practice and that using your imagination will only get you partway there, I’m convinced that one can reach 100% confidence purely through use of the imagination. I’ve done it myself on numerous occasions, and I’ve seen others condition themselves this way as well. But the first requirement is to believe that such a thing is possible. Otherwise the doubt becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that your imagination can only get you 50% of the way to feeling totally confident, then that will be true for you — you’ve just used your imagination to make it so.
The reason for this is that imaginary experiences can be just as confidence-building as real-world ones. So you can substitute imaginary practice for real-world practice. And I’ve found that this is enough to get me to feeling 100% confident even when I don’t have any real-world history of success. Even though I’ve only given a handful of speeches so far, in my mind I’ve been on stage hundreds (probably thousands) of times. This doesn’t mean I’ll perform exceedingly well at something new, but it does mean I’ll go into that performance feeling certain that I’ll do my absolute best.
Believing you’ll perform at your best and actually performing at your best are two different things. As comment #3 implied, there’s a difference between confidence and competence, and it’s important to summon the wisdom to know which is needed. Imagination is a factor in both, but it has the greatest power to affect our beliefs and feelings about an event as opposed to the event itself. But sometimes our beliefs and feelings are the dominant factor in determining how an event turns out.
There are numerous techniques for conditioning confidence — most of the ones I know come from the field of NLP. It often amazes me just how powerful such techniques can be. With a bit of practice (and especially if you have an experienced NLP practitioner to help you), you can become totally 100% confident about something you’ve never done before in less than an hour. One of my favorite NLP books is Using Your Brain for a Change by Richard Bandler. It’s less rah-rah and more down to earth than Tony Robbins’ books, but the basic concepts are the same. It takes some practice to get good at it. I’ve been using NLP for over a decade now, so I’m very experienced with it, and I practically use it without even thinking about it. But it took me at least a couple years to start seeing consistent results with it. I highly recommend the above book to anyone who wants to learn how to mentally condition themselves to succeed. I still think it’s the best NLP book available.
November 19th, 2004 at 11:03 am
> While I would agree that performance results require
> physical practice and that using your imagination will
> only get you partway there, I’m convinced that one can
> reach 100% confidence purely through use of the
> imagination. I’ve done it myself on numerous occasions,
> and I’ve seen others condition themselves this way as
> well.
I’m glad that it works for you.
> But the first requirement is to believe that such a
> thing is possible. Otherwise the doubt becomes a
> self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that your
> imagination can only get you 50% of the way to
> feeling totally confident, then that will be true
> for you – you’ve just used your imagination to make
> it so.
In the past, I did belive that I can reach 100% confidence with lots of imagination, sugestion, self-hypnosis and practice. I put a lot of effort into these and they helped a lot.
However, my experience has always been that one can only reach 60%, maybe 70% by mental practice alone, and the rest of 40% or 30% can only be reached through real physical practice.
This is not an idea I started with. It is a principle that I discovered after doing a lot of work with myself.
> The reason for this is that imaginary experiences
> can be just as confidence-building as real-world
> ones. So you can substitute imaginary practice for
> real-world practice.
I know that lots of self improvement books say things like this. The question is if it’s true or not.
From my experience, it’s not true for me.
> And I’ve found that this is enough to get me to
> feeling 100% confident even when I don’t have any
> real-world history of success.
I’m glad that it works for you. Maybe for some people it works, and for some people it doesn’t.
The areas in which I experimented were areas in which I had a history of failure. I could not get to 100% confidence by mental practice alone – I also had to do real practice.
Thank you for your book recommandation.
November 19th, 2004 at 11:48 am
Have you ever identified someone who can reach 100% confidence through mental conditioning, learned from them how they did it, and modeled their approach exactly? That’s how I got past that same wall at 60-70% — I read books by people who’d already broken through it and modeled their strategy. And even then it took me more than a year to achieve a reasonable level of competence with it. But it was worth it.
Mental conditioning is a skill like any other. It takes practice to become competent in it. I’ve also read many of the “guru” books that oversold the idea, claiming how easy it is to apply. Mental conditioning isn’t easy though, but it can be extremely effective once mastered. People spend their whole lives studying such things, especially meditation, and even after decades of practice they still have more to learn. But saying you’ve reached a certain level of skill after a period of years and then hit a wall doesn’t mean that further progress is impossible — it doesn’t make sense to claim that something is impossible when our ability to fathom all possible solutions is so limited… especially if there already exist people who’ve broken through the barriers that are still real for us. Htting a wall is merely a sign that further progress may require learning something new or going in a different direction for a while. But the existence of the wall itself cannot rule out the possibility of ultimately reaching the other side. However, if we summarily surrender to the idea that the wall is fixed and permanent, then we won’t reach the other side. But this is an internal limitation, not a “real” external one.
November 19th, 2004 at 12:33 pm
Hmmm… played the first level of Halo 2 last night in co-op mode with my wife, plus a competitive match. I thought the lighting on level 1 was way too dark (is there a way to adjust the gamma?), and at least so far, the game doesn’t seem that much different from the original, aside from some minor improvements like holding 2 weapons at once. But I’ll give it a chance for a few more levels.
November 19th, 2004 at 3:19 pm
My confidence level is what is holding me back in my life more than anything else. I’m young, intelligent and love my chosen profession, but I’m still not where I want to be because I do not have the confidence necessary to move forward. I’m amazed that you claim to be able to attain 100% confidence in your ability to do something you’ve never done before; my knowledge that I’VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE would be more than enough to defeat that for me. I also seem to really, really need external affirmation before I gain confidence in something, and that also limits me because I’m not really in a position to find a mentor. I know that if I could overcome this one obstacle, so many things would open up for me, but just that mere knowledge just doesn’t seem to be enough to cut it for me.
It’s frustrating, to say the least.
November 19th, 2004 at 3:21 pm
I actually thought Halo 2 was a little overhyped as well but it does get better later in the game.
November 19th, 2004 at 3:38 pm
> Have you ever identified someone who can reach
> 100% confidence through mental conditioning,
> learned from them how they did it, and modeled
> their approach exactly? That’s how I got past
> that same wall at 60-70% – I read books by
> people who’d already broken through it and
> modeled their strategy.
Pray, Master, how does one find this misterious person?
Seriously, can you recommend a few books about going from the 60% I already achieve up to the full 100%?
I have already put a lot of effort into this, and I’m willing to put more effort.
November 19th, 2004 at 5:28 pm
The best program on this that I’ve encountered is not a book but rather a live seminar: Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within (aka the firewalk seminar). I’ve gone to it twice, and the firewalk part alone will allow you to experience the effect of conditioning several emotional states at 100%. I think it’s pretty hard to learn this kind of emotional conditioning from books alone because the verbal and kinesthetic actions can’t be adequately conveyed by text. Actually seeing a person put themselves into a state of 100% confidence right in front of your face is a lot more valuable and certainly more convincing than merely reading about it. Trying to learn this from a book is like trying to learn martial arts by reading a book. You can get partway there, but it’s a lot easier if you can have someone show you how to do it face to face. Plus it’s helpful to have someone guide you through it with feedback, so if the “coach” can see you aren’t hitting 100%, they can help you make adjustments until you’re there. Text is an extremely limiting medium for teaching this skill, mainly because the skill includes a huge physical component (both as an input and an output).
A distant alternative would be learning this from an audio program, since at least then you have the vocal cues to go on. Tony Robbins’ Personal Power II audio program is the best one I’ve listened to in this area because you can hear the emotions coming through Tony’s expressive voice. But again that’s still like trying to learn martial arts from a CD.
The best free alternative I can offer you is to pop into the forums on Tony Robbins’ web site. Those forums get a huge amount of traffic, but you’ll be able to meet dozens of people there who are highly skilled with emotional conditioning, who apply it on a daily basis, and who’ll be happy to give you further instruction. I suggest doing a search there on “HOP” or “Hour of Power,” since that’s a decent place to start. If you’re lucky you might even be able to find one or two members who live near you and who’d be willing to show you in person. But depending on who you find, your mileage may vary. The energy level on those forums can be a bit giddy and over the top at times, but there are still a lot of solid, practical ideas to be found.
November 22nd, 2004 at 1:56 am
Thank you very much for your recommandations. I have started reading Using Your Brain For A Change – I’m about 75% through it. Indeed it’s an excellent book.
As for the Tony Robbins seminar, I live in a country where that’s not available. However, another fire walking seminar is held from time to time, and I decided to go to that one.
Thank you again for your excellent suggestions.
February 24th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
I’ve just read through this entry and couple of questions came into my mind (I hope someone still reads this old entry):
Isn’t mentally raising your conscious kind of cheating? Shouldn’t confidence be reached by facing your fears and gaining courage (and confidence) that way?
Personally I’ve reached very good confidence levels that way, many times (and lost it as many times, unfortunately). I face my fear, gain courage. Sometimes when I’m not facing my fear and feel I need confidence for something, I’ve tried to gain it with my imagination. It does work, but I don’t feel “fulfilled” after it; I realize I might seem confident to other people, but I don’t enjoy myself in that state. This has largely led me to believe that “programming” yourself to be confident isn’t going to work; you can’t cheat it.
Reading this entry and the comments made be wonder about that belief; could one still imagine confidence and feel good about it? In other words, can one imagine confidence without facing fear?
February 24th, 2005 at 3:12 pm
Ok I just read the next blog entry, which pretty much answers my question